Chrysalis
Our world has been flooded with butterflies lately. My daughter is in love with red butterflies and wanted that to be the theme of her 4th birthday party (her twin sister wanted pink pigs! So we had a red butterfly pink pig birthday party.). At pre-school the girls each have their own caterpillar who are currently in their cocoons, getting ready to emerge as butterflies. Chrysalis: The stage in which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The dictionary defines chrysalis as "the protected stage of development." It’s amazing to me that one creature can curl up into a capsule, fall asleep, and wake up as a completely different creature! And why? Why doesn’t a caterpillar stay a caterpillar? Why aren’t butterflies just born butterflies? Whatever the answers may be, I’m grateful that God has given us this amazing process to witness through nature and glean hope from it for our own lives. To know that I am a work in progress, that I am no longer what I was and still becoming what I will be, is such a comfort to me. God is at work - creating, transforming, renewing. When I feel stuck in my caterpillarness, weak, longing for more, I am comforted by the promise of chrysalis – I am becoming something greater by the work of God in me.

Start How You Want to Finish
A dear friend gave me this advise in regards to parenting. If you don’t want to end up with your children sleeping in bed with you, then don’t start that way. If you don’t want to end up feeding your children mac and cheese and chicken nuggets every meal, then don’t start that way. This logic is so true, not only for raising children, but for living life! Start how you want to finish. It first demands that we sit and think about the “finish” part of our life– how do I want to end up? What do I want to be known for or how do I want to be remembered? Not to be morbid, but how can we know what path to start down if we don’t know where we want to finish? This idea of thinking about the end result, thinking of the finished product and what I want it to look like has come to the forefront of my mind as my Grandmother is in the sunset years of her life at 89 years old. Our time on earth is so brief, to live without intention is a waste. To start habits or routine that seems easy for the moment, yet we know we’ll have to change down the road, seems foolish. Start how you want to finish. Even if we’ve started down paths that we know will not take us to a wonderful place, it’s not too late to change the course and start anew. Take some time to think about how you want to finish, then make plans to start living in a way that will yield that end result.

Baby Bunnies
I can’t believe you’re 4 years old today! Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that the doctor said, “yes, there are two babies!” I couldn’t believe it. I just prayed that you’d be healthy, but secretly, I hoped you were twin girls! I thought 2 little girls would be so much fun. And God blessed me with twin baby girls!! Emmie Squirrel – you are my precious mouse. I love how you dress up so pretty and dance and sing. You love to include everyone and graciously hand out toys to all your friends. Georgie Mouse – you are my love bug. I love how you help me in the kitchen and dance and sing while doing it! You are so loving and always give hugs and kisses to everyone. I am so blessed to have two darling daughters who teach me so much and challenge me to be a better woman every day. I love you both dearly. Happy Birthday Baby Bunnies!

You Reap What You Sow
My girls and I planted our Summer garden today. It seemed a little bit funny to be planting a “Summer” garden while we were bundled up, trying to quickly plant before the rain came! They had so much fun digging the dirt, helping decide where to place the plants, and placing their pinwheels in the finished garden to add some color and whimsy! But now the really hard work begins – waiting! A garden is such a beautiful thing that teaches so many life lessons. Because we’ve planted zucchini, watermelon, tomatoes and various other vegetables and herbs, we are expecting to harvest zucchini, watermelon, tomatoes, etc. We will not grow what we did not plant! I’ve never seen blueberries grow on a tomato bush! You reap what you sow, or, you grow what you plant into your life. If you want the benefit of a healthy life, you must sow healthy seeds into your life. That means getting rid of hazardous relationships, toxic media, and polluted habits, and replacing them with life-giving relationships, pure information, and clean habits. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, for that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” What fruit are you producing in your life? Is it time to rip out some plants and sow some new seeds? If there are various attributes you are seeking in your life, start planting seeds that will yield that crop in time. You reap what you sow.

Rest
I have a very hard time shutting down my mind. When I lay in bed at night, my mind races with conversations from the day, songs I’ve heard, or to-do lists that still need to be checked off. It’s not difficult to have some time to be physically still, but to be mentally still is another story. My husband and I just came back from a mini vacation. Three simple days alone in Mexico, where something amazing happened – rest! I didn’t get many extra hours of sleep (in fact I didn’t sleep well at all!), I didn’t even visit the spa, but I experienced a lot of rest and relaxation. Maybe it was the hypnotic waves, perhaps the fresh sea air, or simply the fact that I had no schedule to keep and no one to look after, but my mind was completely at peace and thus I was able to truly rest. Constant physical activity can make one very tired, but constant mental activity can be deadly. We need to find a way to quiet our minds to find true rest. When Jesus says, “come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest,” I think what he is really saying is, “come give me everything that is on your mind and I will take care of it so that you can be at peace and rest.” A quiet mind produces incredible rest where 3 days on vacation feels like 13! We are restored, renewed and rested.

Home
We just returned from Easter with Grammie and Papa. Although the home my parents’ live in is not the home I grew up in, it is still on the same piece of property and thus feels like home. Every time I’m there, so many memories come back – birthday parties, slumber parties, Christmas, hot dog roasts in the fire pit, getting ready on my wedding day. All of those things happened at home. Now when I take my children up there to visit, my parents go above and beyond to make our time special. Easter Bunnies filled the house this time. Eggs, chicks, baskets, all welcoming the children to come and play! I was reminded how as a child my mother not only made holidays special, but she truly made each day special. She sang songs to us, cooked amazing meals, tickled us, prayed with us, and she loved us passionately. My father always worked so hard to take care of us, he kept us safe, took us on amazing journeys all over the world, he hugged us tightly and freely told us he loved us. Now back to my “home,” I wonder what memories my children will have of this house. The home where they learned to walk, where their baby brother came home from the hospital, where they started pre-school, where they learned to swim, birthday parties, Christmas… Will they remember a mother who made each day special? Who loved them passionately? Who hugged them tightly and freely told them she loved them? No family is perfect. No parent is always right. No amount of money can turn a house into a home. Only love can do that. If we have nothing else to offer our children than our unconditional love, that is more than enough.

Love
The one thing every human wants and needs in life is love. True love. Unconditional love. Love that will never change, no matter what we do. Without this love in our life, we simply exist. We breathe in and out to fill our lungs, but no life fills our spirit.
Recently, loneliness came over me as I sat in a room with some dear friends. I felt absent from the conversation and absent from the camaraderie of the others. As I drove home I wondered if I truly had friends who loved me. Today is Maundy Thursday, the day before Jesus went to the cross to die and I’m reminded of his time with close friends on the night before his death. They sat around a dinner table and enjoyed a meal together. I wonder if Jesus felt loved by them. Did he feel loneliness in the midst of their company? One of those very dear friends, whom he’d trusted, would betray him and send him to his death. Another would deny that he’d ever known Jesus. Is that love? Why does human love fail us sometimes? We question the love of others. We don’t love ourselves. We wonder what love really is. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” The true love that we seek is not of this world. Wonderful friends and family cannot fulfill us with their human love. True love can only come from God through Jesus. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” The love of Jesus never fails, never disappoints, never runs out.

Forgiveness The absence of it can kill you. The abundance of it can give you new life. What does it mean to forgive someone? “Forgive and Forget,” a popular phrase that seems to mean more about forgetting the person that wronged us than the hurtful act they did. To forgive means to fully understand the magnitude of hurt that someone inflicted upon you, absorb it, and choose to release it. To forgive someone means to set them free from the bondage of their shame, regret, and darkness. To forgive means to set yourself free from painful recollection of the damaging incident, to breathe new life into the wound, to be healed and restored. But beyond forgiving someone of what they did, true forgiveness incorporates a restoration of relationship. God’s love was displayed in greatness through his forgiveness. He held back nothing, no strings attached, no conditions. He simply gave up his rights to himself, fully understood the magnitude of our hurtful acts that separated us from him, absorbed it, and died to it. He totally set us free from our guilt and shame and brought us back to a place of relationship with Him. To receive that is to have new life. To reject that is to choose death. In this Holy Week, the week that Jesus went to the cross to offer us complete forgiveness and fellowship, will you receive his forgiveness and have new life?

Sing A Song
Sing out loud, sing out strong! The Psalms talk a lot about singing praises to God. I love Psalm 98:4, “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music.” I am one of those people who often bursts into song! My husband has said that living with me is like living in a musical! Music is a powerful tool to feed our subconscience, express the deepest parts of our soul, help us learn important principles, or make us well up with emotion. The song that our life sings, reveals the true passion of our heart. In Psalm 40, David writes about the troubles he’s facing in his life and how God has rescued him, “He set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” If the same stale song has been playing over and over again in your life, be encouraged that God wants to give you a new song. God has the power to change the theme song of our life! What song is on your lips today?

Parenthood is a Marathon

The LA Marathon was last weekend and I have several friends who ran in it. I’ve heard from many marathon runners that the whole experience teaches them so much about life. The training, preparation, pacing one self, knowing when to kick it into high gear, when to fall back a bit - it’s all a metaphor for life. Prior to having children, I ran my life more like a sprint. Trying to fit it all in, and do it as quickly as possible! I ran non-stop and loved every moment. Now that I’m older, and have 3 small children, my pace has slowed down a bit! And I’m learning not only to pace myself for this long journey called motherhood, but also to pace out their little lives while they are under my care. It’s really easy to rush things because it becomes so much fun! But life is best when it’s experienced in the proper time, not too early, not too late. Let them walk when they’re ready, let them take to solid foods when they’re ready, let them sleep over at a friend’s house when they’re old enough to enjoy it and not cry in the middle of the night! There are so many fun things to look forward to with our children, but let’s not rush it. We’re in the midst of a marathon here, not a sprint! We need to train well, pace ourselves and our little ones, know when to push into the next season, and when to slow down. We’ll be stronger, healthier, and happier if we treat parenthood more like a marathon than a sprint.

Simply Show Up
I love to drop in on the ocean, no toys, chair, extra lotion or umbrella – just show up and see what she has for us! She never disappoints. Today her mighty waves provided challenge for the surfers. The little sticks found on her shore were transformed into spires for a grand castle. The breeze above her beckoned the seagulls to soar higher. The ocean is a place of never ending possibilities, especially when you visit her with children! Sometimes I clutter up the beautiful simplicity of life with a bunch of extra stuff. I feel like I need to come prepared, have all the right equipment, get back-ups just in case… But to simply show up, unannounced, no gear in tow, and allow nature to unfold her grand plan is to be surprised time and again. Nothing can be more entertaining, instructional, life-giving, and inspiring than the wonders God has created. We don’t need to have all the extra stuff, simply show up!

Lucky Charms
I’m so thankful for little fun things in life like St. Patrick’s Day! It’s the only day in the year to have a “boiled dinner,” shamrock shakes from Mc Donalds, wear tons of green, and delight in green milk (or beer if you’re a grown up!). Enjoy!

Celebrate
There are so many things to celebrate in life. A little boy’s first haircut, a 40th birthday, a promotion, a wedding, a living God… The list goes on and on. Currently my life is filled with all of these celebrations and more in a matter of a month! As we hop from party to party, I’m reminded that even without a grand event, there are little things that happen every day that are worth celebrating. Like a child reaching an age where they can truly help in the kitchen, a friend who dropped in just to say hi, a brilliant blue sky with hills so green you’d swear you woke up in Ireland! Life has it’s share of tough, discouraging times that can swallow us up. To totally disregard our pain and frustration would in a way diminish the things worthy of celebration. In the midst of fatigue, fear, stress… let’s give equal time to the things worthy of celebration. Celebrate that you live in a free country. Celebrate that you have one good friend. Celebrate that a Living God knows your name and forever has you on His mind. So much of life is worth celebrating, open your eyes to see the party going on in yours today!

This Little Light of Mine
I’m going to let it shine! But on what? Light. What a powerful tool when pointed in the right direction. A famous work of art comes to life when placed in the proper lighting. A long, winding road becomes a path to promise when it is revealed by headlights. When my light is pointed on my children, I can light them up and reveal who God made them to be. It’s powerful and beautiful. When my light is growing dim, I point towards God, the source of light, and I am recharged, illuminated, and given new vision. When our light is hidden under a bush, (oh no!), we choose to take God out of the equation, snuff the light, and become ineffective. No matter how small, take your little light and point it in the right direction to powerfully effect those around you. And keep your head up, because someone just might be pointing their little light towards you to bless you today!

I’ve Got Your Back
Some of the most comforting words I’ve ever heard were, “I’ve got your back.” To know that someone is on your side, cheering for you, fighting for you, willing to take the bullet for you – it’s empowering and freeing. I’m a fighter by nature. For some reason, throughout my life, I’ve been put in situations where I’ve needed to fight for what I believe in, for what I want, or for who I am. Whereas that can build strength in a person, it can also create someone who fights when it’s not necessary! I was very blessed to have a boss who once told me, “I’ve got your back,” and that he was on my side. He told me that I didn’t need to draw lines in the sand all the time and come out fighting, but rather trust that he was for me and not against me. Two years in that working relationship allowed me to learn what really is worth fighting for and what isn’t. It was a beautiful and necessary preparation for marriage! In my wedding ceremony, my boss, who is a pastor, married us. He reminded us to have each others’ back – to protect one another and take care of one another, and most importantly, to fight for one another. Whether it be a friend, parent, sibling, or spouse, make sure in your life you have someone who’s got your back. We’re not meant to walk through the battle of life alone.

A Small Window
Many years ago my brother took me to the beach in the rain. We walked on the sand as it rained and it was magical. After that day, I’ve always loved the ocean most when it’s raining. Last Saturday we took the kids to the beach for a breakfast picnic… in the pouring rain! We all piled into the back of our SUV and ate our bagels while watching the waves and listening to the pouring rain. We giggled, ate, and pretty much sat on top of each other! It was lovely. Then, for just a moment, the rain stopped, sun came out, and dolphins began to jump - literally! The magic continued. We got out of the fogged up windows and began to play on the sand, enjoying the brilliant blue sky and the warm sunshine. It was amazing how just a few moments before, and what would be a few hours after, it was pouring! A small window of hope, a moment of calm in the midst of a storm, a time to catch your breath before the struggle returned. A powerful time to be reminded that God is present, watching every detail, giving us respite along the treacherous journey, whispering hope and promise to never give us more than we can handle. He gives us those small windows all the time. His promise to us is that even though the waters rise up around us, we will not be overcome.

Call It What It Is
I think it’s really important to call things what they are and speak the truth. I’ve heard so many mothers refer to their defiant children as “spirited” or rebellious children as “passionate.” Really? I don’t want a defiant or rebellious child, but I sure would love a spirited passionate one! So, what’s wrong with simply telling the truth and saying that your child is rebellious? Or why must we justify a cold by saying, "my child might have allergies?” It’s a cold! That’s ok. We’re not going to leave them that way! But it’s important to call things as they are, speak the truth, so we can identify the true problem and heal, change, transform and bring about repentance. We make excuses, apologize, disguise, justify… but that isn’t helping anyone. In our own life it’s easy to do this with our own problems or struggles. But if we are honest with ourselves and God, and call it what it is, then we can be forgiven, transformed and move on. As long as we are misnaming reality, we will continue to live in a fantasy land where the truth isn’t known and no one is living into their full potential.

Change is Good
I recently lost about 10 inches… off my hair! For some reason I love to grow it out long and then cut it all off. It feels so great and the drastic change is so much fun.
My father always said the only difference between a rut and a grave is a lid! Change is good, it breathes new life. Change is also hard. I think of the work and stress of moving. When going through everything to pack up it feels great to get rid of old junk that we no longer need, and there is always a hidden treasure waiting to be rediscovered! We probably would have never taken the time to let go of the dead weight and unveil lost beauty if it weren’t for the move. It’s fun to reminisce, but also emotional to let go of the past and start new. But someone once told me, “where there is risk, there is reward.” That has proven true in my life time and again. Sometimes it takes a drastic move to get a whole new perspective on life. It’s easy to become so comfortable in our ways that we have no vision for anything different. Yet there might be great opportunities or self discovery just out of sight if we’d simply turn our head, go a different direction, change our environment, or simply cut all our hair off!!!

Little Update
Well, I’ve had a few busy weeks and a little departure from my “normal” blog entries. With the baby turning one, Valentine’s Day and a ton of family coming into town, I haven’t had much time! I have to share this update:
Friday I ran out to get a few last things for my son’s big birthday party on Saturday. It had been a rough week and the kids didn’t sleep well, so I averaged about 4 hours a night last week! I was tired, a bit stressed with rain forecasted and an RSVP list of 50 people for the party (all in doors if the forecast held!). All of the grandparents and Auntie were scheduled to arrive around 3pm Friday, which meant crunch time for one tired, cranky mommy! I got in the car to make my first stop at Jo Ann fabrics. As I drove my mind was cluttered with complaining, frustration, and some anger / bitterness about various things. I immediately thought of my post from Feb. 8 “It’s Your Choice.” And I pretty much said out loud in my car, “OK, I’m really tired and prideful and would much rather gripe and complain, but I’m going to choose joy and praise God.” I then started listing all the things I was thankful for. (Honestly, I really don’t do this normally. I know I should, and I’ll encourage others to, but I don’t myself!) I arrived at Jo Anns- full parking lot – and a front row spot opened up just as I drove up! I went in, grabbed all I needed, headed to the register just in time to overhear a lady say, “here are my coupons.” SHOOT, I forgot to print out my coupons! “That’s what I forgot,” I quietly said. “$87.42,” the cashier said. “Oh my gosh! What did I buy?” “Let me run some coupons for you mam. OK, that’s $62.47.” I started to cry. I told the kid he was my new best friend and left saying, this time with a genuine heart, “thank you Lord.” Next stop was to Costco – even more busy than Jo Ann’s! Just as I drove up, a front row spot opened! WHAT? I smiled and said, “thank you Lord.” My time was short so this little blessing was huge! Last stop was to the grocery store, just as I drove up, a front row spot opened up! Seriously, by this time I was just laughing! I got all I needed and as I drove home I started to cry again, thinking of the clerk at Jo Ann’s, and all the front row spaces I got that saved me so much time! I thanked God and praised him for his faithfulness. It’s amazing what can happen when we choose to praise instead of critique, bless instead of curse, smile instead of pout. I hope to get back on track this week with normal blogging and I have some fun dinner ideas to share too!

Baby Fish

I can’t believe you’re one today. And why does it break my heart? I want you to stay little forever, so you fit perfectly on my chest with your head on my shoulder. I was so in love with your sisters when they were born, I really didn’t think that could happen again. But then you came along and my heart grew so that I could fall in love with you too. You are my bright spot. You are my ego boost! You always light up when I walk in the room! Thank you little Macky Boy. You’ve added so much joy to my life and I thank God for blessing me with your precious smile, happy head, funny faces, and most of all your cuddles. Happy Birthday Baby Mouse. Mama loves you.