Last night my husband and I were invited to a lovely dinner (more details to come in a future post!) and on our way I confessed in the car that I’m not happy with the direction I’m headed as a Mom. Our children are increasingly disrespectful and mean and I feel that I’m 85% to blame as I feel joyless in parenting and angry most of the time at the terrible things they say and do! We had a lovely time at the dinner and I was lucky to sit next to some friends with their 2 week old baby who I stole for most of the night! That alone restored my hope in little ones! Swapping stories with old friends and their honest account of parenting children ages 2 weeks – 8 years old, was also refreshing and comforting. “You too?,” was all I kept saying to myself. I have to admit, I was certain some of these friends would have their perfectly behaved children with them and they would sit quietly and politely all night. I was wrong on many fronts! Their children were not there and there was reason! It’s easy to think we’re alone on this crazy merry-go-round ride called Mommyhood. It’s even easier to get with a group of moms and simply share all the amazing stories of how bright, kind, beautiful and talented our children are! But honesty is powerful. We haven’t seen some of these friends for several years, yet it didn’t stop them from opening up about the hardships of parenting and the ugliness we discover in ourselves as these little ones push us to our limits. It was one of the most refreshing nights of conversation I’ve had in a very long time. My kids aren’t perfect. You too? I never knew I could become so angry. You too? I long to be in authentic community where we not only share our joys, but also our trials. You too?
Monday, September 27, 2010
You Too?
Last night my husband and I were invited to a lovely dinner (more details to come in a future post!) and on our way I confessed in the car that I’m not happy with the direction I’m headed as a Mom. Our children are increasingly disrespectful and mean and I feel that I’m 85% to blame as I feel joyless in parenting and angry most of the time at the terrible things they say and do! We had a lovely time at the dinner and I was lucky to sit next to some friends with their 2 week old baby who I stole for most of the night! That alone restored my hope in little ones! Swapping stories with old friends and their honest account of parenting children ages 2 weeks – 8 years old, was also refreshing and comforting. “You too?,” was all I kept saying to myself. I have to admit, I was certain some of these friends would have their perfectly behaved children with them and they would sit quietly and politely all night. I was wrong on many fronts! Their children were not there and there was reason! It’s easy to think we’re alone on this crazy merry-go-round ride called Mommyhood. It’s even easier to get with a group of moms and simply share all the amazing stories of how bright, kind, beautiful and talented our children are! But honesty is powerful. We haven’t seen some of these friends for several years, yet it didn’t stop them from opening up about the hardships of parenting and the ugliness we discover in ourselves as these little ones push us to our limits. It was one of the most refreshing nights of conversation I’ve had in a very long time. My kids aren’t perfect. You too? I never knew I could become so angry. You too? I long to be in authentic community where we not only share our joys, but also our trials. You too?
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There is no formula to getting great kids. Thank God for that. Thank God he can save our kids despite us. You inspire me every day, Raeanne.
ReplyDeletei am blessed that we were a small part of your journey! these little ones that we love so dearly can truly push us to the edge- but hopefully before we tumble, we will fall to our knees. i am humbled by the faults that I have to face in my own kids, and the truth that i deal with when i realize they have acquired some of those from ME! be encouraged - this is a battle that we are all fighting - you are not alone. :) i have never prayed so fervently as I do for my children - their decisions, behaviors, and that somehow the Lord would be present in my reactions!!!
ReplyDeleteit was great to see you and i love these pics of your BEAUTIFUL kiddos!
hey there. i have to say one of the highlights of the evening was our conversation in the parking lot. goodnight, was that funny!
ReplyDelete"you too?"
my kids bring me to my knees daily... which are getting bruised by all the time on them. You know what else gets bruised? my ego. That is probably the reason the Lord gave me these challenging little people. He wanted to kill some of the ugly in me... or drive it out by fire. you betcha.
I always tell mommies... "guess what? get over worrying about it, you indeed are the worst mom in the world if you don't have Jesus. He is the only only thing that is going to make you a success at this." if i keep that perspective, I don't spend so much time freaked out that I might end up the sending my kids to counseling... (they'll probably end up there anyways) and instead I worry about running to the only one who will keep me from falling.