Monday, September 24, 2012

A Redeeming Love - Chapter 14

OK, I’m ready to land the plane, so this week I’m wrapping up The Redeeming Love series with the final chapters today, Wednesday, and Friday. 
After all, it’s no longer Summer, so this series must end!
A summer romance series, chronicling my love story
 On my worst days after Roger broke up with me for the final time, I remember that so many people told me that one day when I married some amazing man, the pain of this break up wouldn’t even matter any more.  And I clearly remember thinking, “No matter how amazing of a man I marry one day, I will never forget this pain.  Nothing could redeem this feeling of rejection.”

 But I was healed.  The painful memories became mere words in my journals and no long wounds on my heart.  I had moved on and even though this man named Roger Newquist had somehow made his way back into my new world, I was completely different and I saw things more clearly.

 He returned to Seattle to wish me a happy 30th birthday and by this time my father had gotten word that Roger was paying me a visit.  My father was very clear and adamant – I will not watch this man hurt you again.  I tried to ensure him that I was not giving my heart away, simply a few hours for dinner.  But my protective papa bear wasn’t buying it.  2 weeks later I left for an adventure to Spain and Italy with my father where I would have his undivided attention to convince him that I was not being foolish.

 My father and I spent a glorious vacation touring the Paradors of Spain and then on to visit some friends in the Italian Alps.  It was a trip I will never forget and a special time alone with my father.  One night at dinner, I mentioned the name… Roger.  I saw the expression in my dad’s face drop.  I promised him that I wasn’t giving my heart away this time and if he wanted to fly up to take me to dinner once a month, why not?  And I think I flippantly mentioned something like, “he doesn’t want to date me, he wants to marry me.”

 I left my dad in Italy and flew back to Seattle while he continued his trip with a train ride to Switzerland.  A few weeks later I received a hand written letter from my father that he wrote on that train ride. 

 He thanked me for a wonderful trip and ended by saying, “The man who wins your heart will be a very lucky man.  If that man turns out to be Roger, you can be sure that both of you will have 100% of my support.”

Was this my same father?  Did he have too many glasses of wine on that train ride?  Or did he perhaps now understand that I was proceeding with caution and simply opening my mind up to something that Roger had already been convinced of – we would spend our lives together.

 The following month Roger was speaking at a family retreat and arranged for a visit with my parents after the retreat.  Roger wanted to ask their forgiveness for hurting their daughter several times over the past 8 years.  I thought he was crazy.  He was a grown man of 35 and didn’t need to explain himself to my parents.  But he was insistent.  As I sat home in Seattle, wondering what was going on down in California with Roger and my parents, it was the first time that I was convinced that he was serious about me.  Since he flew up to Seattle the first time to take me to dinner, I was very guarded and wondered if he’d change his mind again like he had so many times before.  Was this another phase where he’d pursue me and then in a few months decided that I wasn’t that important to him?  But having the nerve and intention of paving a smooth and healthy road before him by clearing the air with my parents showed me that if this “relationship” was going to potentially end, it wouldn’t be by his hand.  It would be by mine.



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