It was long over a year ago when I finally took the step of faith to put myself out there and share my dream and passion for speaking and teaching women. Prior to being married, I had the opportunity to speak at various conferences, camps, and ministry groups as a young woman in ministry. After leaving my job in college ministry to get married, my speaking engagements became fewer and fewer and with the birth of my babies, they pretty much dried up! I did teach a moms group for a season and loved that, but my heart longed for more. I truly believe that God gifted me to speak and teach and I was beginning to feel like something within me was dying as I was not using my gift. Through many months of prayer and inviting a small community of mentors and friends to walk this journey with me, I put up this post announcing my desire to speak and inviting ministry groups to consider having me as their speaker for their next event. I also contacted several MOPS groups, churches and organizations, "selling myself" and letting them know of my heart and desire.
Within a few short weeks, I was sitting in a doctor's office about to hear words that would forever change my life.
After being obedient to follow God's call upon my life I was struck with debilitating anxiety.
I quickly forgot about my blog post and ministries I had contacted. I knew I'd never be able to speak to a crowd let alone get on an airplane to go to a conference again. I was devastated.
But that was only the beginning of my journey with anxiety. There were many more shattered dreams, losses, and pain that was still in store for me.
I started writing my story with anxiety here on this blog as I felt God would use it to minister to others with similar struggles.
I was amazed by the outpouring of encouragement, support and many who offered up their story of anxiety and panic struggles.
There is much of my story that has not yet been written as my path of anxiety took a sharp turn last Summer. I still don't feel like I'm in a place to share the deepest and darkest seasons of the battle. But I wanted to give a brief update to say that God has been healing and transforming me in ways I never imagined. I have hope once again of living into my calling of speaking - now with a new story to tell of His grace, mercy and healing.
I'm excited to share that tomorrow I will be speaking to a group of women for the first time since this nightmare began. I will be sharing with them part of my story of anxiety and God's call to surrender it ALL!
Please pray for me!
I look forward to giving you an update on how it goes!
God is faithful to accomplish His purposes through us and He will finish what He starts!
(you can read my journey with anxiety by clicking the label on the right "a new life" or "anxiety disorder")