Have you heard this phrase, “Don’t forget in the dark what you heard in the light?” It’s a beautiful reminder to hold fast to what God has spoken to us when our doubts creep in and things get tough. Lately I’ve adopted the opposite phrase, “Don’t forget in the light what God spoke in the dark.” During the most sever points of my struggle with anxiety I feel like God spoke the loudest. In the midst of physical pain and mental agony, I felt very close to God and knew His Spirit was at work within me. I’m grateful to say that the past few months have been much better. Although I’ve held off the anxiety at arms length, I can see some serious growth. But already my intense pursuit of God and His purpose has started to slightly fade. I don’t want the depth of relationship with my God to lessen now that I’m feeling better. Now that I’m in the light, I don’t want to forget the powerful things he spoke to me in the darkness.
It’s easy to turn to God in the midst of a crisis. And it is easy to distance ourselves when life is going along rather well. What must that make God feel like?
I’m know that a panic attack can hit me at any given moment without warning. In the same way, I know that the Enemy is alive and crafty and seeks my demise and can strike at any given moment and blindside me. I must be alert and awake. I must keep my eyes focused on Jesus when life is tough and when it is not. My relationship with God is much more than desperation when I am in great need. It is a deep love and passion to bring glory to Him with my life.
I am grateful that God is teaching me to live life in a new way. I am grateful that He has helped me let go of a lot of control. I am grateful that I have been feeling much better. I am grateful that He is my hope. I don’t want to forget in the light what He spoke to me in the darkness.