Friday, September 27, 2013

It's So Not Me

Some of you have asked about our decision to homeschool.
I kinda walk on thin ice talking about this!  But here we go.
 
People home school for all different reasons.
I can honestly say that homeschooling is something that I never thought would be part of my story.
"It's so not me!"
I grew up in public school and had a great experience.
Our public school is in our neighborhood and for the past 2 years we only walked 2 blocks to get there!  It was awesome!
Many assume that we had a terrible experience at school and that is why we're homeschooling.
Not true.
Some think that because we're Christians and struggle with things the schools are teaching our children is why we're homeschooling.
Not true.
I had a dear friend once tell me, "when your nest starts to get uncomfortable, it's time to fly."
 
That came at a time in my life when I started to struggle with aspects of my job, some relationships in my life were getting messy, and my spirit was restless.  It was those uncomfortable situations that forced me to look at options for change that I would have never considered otherwise.
For our family, life became increasingly uncomfortable over the past 2 years for many reasons, in many areas, and our nest was getting rather uncomfortable.
It forced us to look at other options for our family that we would have never considered otherwise -  homeschooling was one of them.
One, highly unlikely, almost impossible option!
Time and again as I thought of homeschooling,
 I'd say, "It's so not me.  I could never homeschool my children."
 
I'd daydream about doing fun crafts, baking bread, wearing long flowing dresses and bonnets (just kidding!) and then the daydream would turn into a nightmare where little girls were rolling their eyes at me, arguing, and not listening to a thing I say! 
AHHH, "I could never homeschool.  It's so not me."
Then it came.
God's voice.  
Through several friends, situations, and ultimately a moment in the shower - God spoke to our family about making an unpopular decision and going against the norm.
I was in the shower one morning, having that same daydream about the possibility of homeschooling that goes totally awry and the girls start hitting me and pulling my hair and eating me alive!  And the words flew out of the mouth once again, "I could never homeschool.  It's so not me."
But for the first time, I finished that statement -
"Homeschooling is so not me.... but it's so much more of who I want to be."
And I started to cry and just knew that God was making our nest uncomfortable so we'd fly.
And we decided to jump out of the nest and take a leap of faith and follow God on a new adventure for our family.
 
I have to be honest, this decision has little to nothing to do with our children's education.
It's about God calling us to step out of what is comfortable for us and trust Him as we walk down a road that we'd never thought we'd take, do something that I've always thought was "so not me," and live in reckless abandon to God and His call on our life.
I feel confident that God is preparing us for an even bigger decision that we will face in the future.
Not sure what that is, but I'm sure it's going to require more trust and faith than homeschooling.
This decision is simply preparing us for what is to come.
So that's our story in a nutshell.
We're homeschooling because God has called our family to do it.
This year.
For now.
 
*Of course the story has numerous examples of the specifics of what exactly made our nest uncomfortable!  Some of you have been bored with those stories - sorry!
But the wise words of Shari Gaffney beautifully shortened this story:
 
"As you live into the decision you've made, resist feeling like you need to defend or justify it. You and Roger are great parents and you have freedom to home school simply because you want to. It doesn't have to be in response to a negative experience or impatient teacher. I used to feel I had to explain our parenting decisions (probably because I was the oldest in the family and first to have kids) but I no longer do. Some decisions are based upon intuition or a hunch or even a little invasion of their privacy for the greater good. These are things that might not make sense to someone else.
 
With all you've recently went through, I bet you simply want to savor and enjoy little moments you've missed. I think that in and of itself is a great reason to proceed.

 
I know impact does not always match intention, but I do hope this might help you feel freedom in being the parent you feel God (not others) is calling you to be
 
 
 
 



2 comments:

  1. Our family is praying about what to do for school next year for our oldest, and I am trying to not let the opinions and decisions of others cloud my mind from hearing what God wants us to do. Thank you for this! My fear of having to explain our choice and wonder about judgement is one I need to release and see what the Lord has planned!

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  2. I love this post...of how you came to make this decision! You CAN do this! A friend pointed out that there is no stress when you're doing what He tells you to do. You stress when you're out of His plan. If He calls you to it, He will guide you through it :-)

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