Grateful Not Guilty

"Grammie, do I add water to this?  Should I put in more pepper?"

"No, everyone can do their own."

"Grammie, do I do the next potato?"

"Yes, do them all."

"Who's being so kind and nice over there? Is that little Georgia?  I'm so impressed by you."

The sweet conversations of a morning kitchen where my little girls are allowed to help in ways that I'd never entertain.  Frankly, it's too much work.  And I worry about them cutting he selves or getting burned.  And I love to cook and I'd just rather do it myself.  But not here.  Here they get to do all sorts of things without someone hurrying them or yelling at them or telling them, "oh, just let Moma do it."

Here they learn, they are encouraged and they are praised.

                   

                       

                       

                        

                        

                         

I used to feel guilty when my girls were little and my mom would come visit and play with them in ways I never did.  As they got older, she'd let them do all sorts of things that I never would.  Cooking, painting, picking flowers, filling bird feeders... And I'd feel guilty about that too.

Today as I sat and listened to the dialogue between my girls and their Grandmother in the kitchen, I didn't feel guilty, but grateful.  Grateful that their Grandmother is patient with them, finds the good in them and empowers them to be more.  I don't need to feel guilty that I don't let them cook every meal, do the dishes and laundry, wait a minute, am I nuts?!  But seriously, my mom is now in a different place in life.  She's not rushing out the door, taking care of small children, working... She has wisdom and time that allows her to invite her grandchildren into the everyday tasks that they love and let them participate.  I don't yet have that luxury, so in this season I can't let them participate in everything and I don't have to feel guilty about that.  I'm grateful that in our village, there are those who can give my children what I can't and I will continue to surround myself with those other villagers and allow them to teach and refine my children, guilt free!

Black and Blue? Or White and Gold?

Do you ever feel like it just can't get any worse?
I have.
Last week.
My husband has been awaiting knee surgery for a long, pain filled, sleepless month. 
That means I've been waiting too, caring for the pain (his pain, not him!) and not sleeping for a month.
The night before the surgery was the worst.
The pain, not simply in his knee, but whole body pulsed at a rate that kept us both up all night and I kept trying to encourage him, "Hang in there babe, you're on the home stretch.  Only a few more hours and this will be over."
When he wasn't looking, I secretly went in the bathroom and cried.
I was exhausted.
I felt helpless.
I couldn't stand to see him in severe pain anymore.
(Did I mention that we also had 2 little girls up most of the night, crying, scared for their Daddy and scared that they wouldn't see me in the morning when they woke up! - Um, if you never go to sleep, then you don't need to worry about not seeing me when you wake up!  I lost my patience with them around 2am.  "This isn't about you!  I have to take care of Daddy.  You're fine.")
Once we got to the hospital at 5:45am, I exhaled.  This was all going to end shortly.
Praise God.
After surgery prep, an IV, a chat with the anesthesiologist, a talk with the surgeon, I kissed him goodbye and they wheeled him away.
I turned to lounge in the luxurious waiting area and heard, "Mrs. Newquist, wait."
I turned around and saw them putting my husband back in a room.
"I'm so sorry, we don't have it."
Um, have what?
The surgeon didn't like the cadaver ligament they had to put in my husband's knee.
Surgery was canceled.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We'd have to wait one more agonizing day.
St. Patty's was celebrated with surgery and a great new ligament!
Finally we were on the other side.
Hobbling from the car to our bedroom, my husband looked out our front window and saw the grass that now was forming a small jungle. 
He hasn't been able to keep up for sometime because of the pain.
"We're going to have to hire someone to mow the lawns, I can't do it,"  he told me.

"I can do it!  I'll mow the lawns," I offered.

I figured the money we'd spend on a gardener could be applied to a nice pedicure or manicure for me!

 He looked at me like, "there is no way you can mow the lawns!"
Um, EXCUSE ME?
My girls agreed, "Mommy, you can't mow the lawns.  You've never done that.  Daddy mows the lawns."
"You just watch your mother rock that lawn mower!" I told them all.
I suited up, and was totally empowered to fire that baby up and squeeze the handle as the mower jumped into action!

 I was doing it!
 I was mowing the lawn!
First time in my whole life!
 I had the large green trash can handy as I had to stop frequently and empty the grass clippings as it was way over grown.
Finally finished, I swept the sidewalks, hosed down the patio and lined the trash cans along the curb for the morning pick up.
I felt like I had conquered the world!
The following evening my next manly duty came as it was time to bring in the empty trash cans.
I've done this job before, many times, but this time was a little different.
As I stood on the curb, holding onto the big blue can, I kicked the bottom to get it on it's wheels.
When I did, the open lid rested on the top of the curb and as I stepped down, I stepped on the lid, launching the can into the air and me with it.
My head hit the can hard just before I hit the asphalt.
Pain instantly took my breath away as I quickly got up to make it in the house before I began to feel the weight of what just happened.
I hobbled into the bedroom, out of breath, shaking and crying, where my husband was resting.
Let's just flash forward to 5 hours later when I returned home from Urgent Care, checked for a concussion and 4 hand x-rays!
The knuckles on my left hand looked like hamburger and I had a knot the size of a lime on my forehead.
I guess this Moma just wasn't cut out for manual labor.
As a few days passed, I started to see my face turn different shades of the rainbow.

"Can you see the black and blue starting to surround my eye?," I asked my husband.
"Not really," he said.
Hmmm  I called the kids in,
"Can you see Mommy's back eye?" 
"No Mommy."
WHAT?  Where was my sympathy?
I became desperate and even asked the guy at Trader Joes!
He told me he just came from Urgent Care as he cut his wrist at work (accidentally!)
I commiserated with him and shared my story, ending with, "Can you see my black eye?"
"No, not really."
COME ON PEOPLE!!
It was like that dumb dress, did you see black and blue or white and gold?
Apparently people just couldn't see my black and blue!!!
Well, it would only be a few more short days until I would find what I was looking for -
my son came in holding his ear, "My ear hurts Mommy."
It was after hours, so I took him to Urgent Care.
When they called us back, a familiar nurse glanced at me and asked, "How is your hand?  Oh, and it looks like you now have a black eye!"
YES!  She saw it!
I'm not crazy.
And, I think I hit my limit on hospitals and Urgent Care visits for the year!

Use It Or Lose It

The other day I was in a neighbor's backyard and the intoxicating smell of orange blossoms overwhelmed me.  Her orange tree was covered with tiny white flowers that had all the bees buzzing.

In our backyard we have a very prolific lemon tree, an orange tree and a grapefruit tree, but as I looked at her tree, I realized that we don't have any blossoms on our citrus trees yet.

As I walked home, the fragrance of orange blossoms filled the air and shouted, "Spring is here!".

I quickly went into my backyard only to realize that me trees are filled with fruit, but hardly any blossoms.  Maybe new blossoms can't come if the tree is still filled with fruit.

Perhaps all the fruit needs to be picked and used in its season so that new blossoms can bloom and bring forth new fruit?

 

I got a basket and began to pick all of our oranges, wondering if I were too late - would new blossoms come, producing new fruit?  Did I miss the season because I was too lazy to pick the fruit when it was ready?

 

Good life lesson - use it or lose it!

God has given each of us gifts and talents, fruit of sorts, and if we don't use those gifts for His glory, they just sit and not only don't bring joy to us and those around us, but eventually they rot.

Unused fruit also robs us of growing in bigger and brighter ways, producing even more fruit.

What unique gift has God given you?

Are you using it?

Use it or lose it!



Healing Powers of the Ocean

There are 2 things I swear by when anyone in my family gets sick - sick soup and the ocean!

I have always firmly believed in the healing powers of the ocean.

Let's be honest, a few hours at the beach cures all!

I recently was hit with a cold and had to miss a family camping trip to stay in bed and get well.

On day 2 of being home alone, I realized that I needed to go to the beach and experience some healing powers of the sea! 

 Off I went.

As I walked on the sand I breathed deeply.

The soothing sound of the waves, the forgiving sand beneath my feet, the briny air that filled my lungs, together I could feel them melting away my cold!

I smiled as I thought back on all the times I've taken a child to the beach on day 2 of their cold. 

Just sitting and looking out at the vastness before us,

unable to wrap our heads around the beginning and end.

I recently read that the percentage of salt in the sea is the same as the percentage of salt in the human body!  Some say that proves we evolved from the sea.  I say it proves that our God has woven a common thread throughout all of His creation and He is constantly surprising us with His creativity and purposes. ( I also think it proves my theory that the ocean has healing powers!)

After my walk I sat down and began to read my Lenten devotional from Ann Voskamp. 

The passage was from Matthew 6:5-13

In this devotional, you slowly read the passage 3 times,

allowing specific phrases to rise off the page and penetrate your heart.

In this passage about how to pray, one phrase jumped up and struck me -

"your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

With the sea air filling my lungs and blowing my hair, I smiled.

He knew.

I didn't have to ask.

He knew.

As a homeschooling Moma, I rarely get a few hours alone.

I don't remember the last time I was sick in bed, literally!  My children cried as they left to go camping without me, "will you ever get better Mommy?" 

 I laughed because I just don't think they've ever seen me in bed with a cold!

But God knew what I needed before I even asked.

I got to spend 3 days home alone.

God's healing powers of the ocean not only soothed my cold, but they soothed my soul.

He knows what I need before I even ask!

Do you know that God is for you?

Do you know that He sees your need and longs to provide?

Surrender today.

Stop going about your business (busy-ness) and open your hands to receive.

 

 

ARMY 6

This year we tried to persuade the children to forgo birthday parties and just take a family trip to LEGOLAND.  However, the little guy couldn't wrap it around his head.

"That sounds great!  And my party will be an Army Party."

"No buddy, we're not going to have parties this year.  Our trip will be your party!"

"OK.  And when we get back we can have an Army Party."

Oh forget it!

So, we decided to go totally simple (my mom is laughing!) and invite a few close friends, raid Daddy's closet for Army stuff and spend maybe $20 at the Dollar Store.

 

 The only thing I made was the cake, thanks to Pintrist for the fun idea!

 

 Each kiddo threw on some Army camo and posed with the flag.

 

 Then PT began

 

We set up a fun obstacle course of a Paratrooper Drop, Belly Crawl, Zig Zag run, Grenade Toss, and Fortress Escape!

 Gotta love Dollar Store balloons!!

 

 

Then to the Chow Hall for dinner.

 

We prayed for all the men and women that serve our country.

 

After dinner they were given their secret mission assignment and camo face paint!

 

We hid (aka threw) about 120 tiny army men all over the back yard. 

Each soldier was issued a flash light, compass, and glow stick.

 

In the dark, their mission was to rescue the MIA soldiers and return them to safety before the enemy tagged them.  They needed to use their training earlier to be quiet, quick and strong!

 

If they got tagged by the enemy, they had to hand over all their MIA tiny Army men and crack their glow stick and hold it above their head and wait for a fellow soldier to come free them.

 

After the mission was accomplished, we went back to the Chow Hall and celebrated!

 

Then back out to the dark to play with sparklers.

A great night was had by all and truly...

 

the Mission was accomplished!!!

(did you know they make Army men gummies??)



It's Hard to Slow Down When It's Always Sunny

Looking back, I remember often having the guilty feeling that I should be outside. 

On a sunny day, I might want to lay in bed and read or play with my dolls, but I'd think,

"It's too nice of a day to stay indoors," and with a guilty pressure, I'd head outside.

I would almost anxiously wait for it to get dark because then I'd have permission to come back inside!  Maybe that's why I've always loved the rain.  It gives me freedom to be inside without guilt!

But when you live in the Golden State, where it is sunny about 360 days a year, there isn't much freedom to remain inside, still, quiet, under a blanket for those such as me.

 

 

A few years back when I read Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts," something profound struck me.

She encourages all to slow down, stop rushing through life as if it were an emergency.  Slow down and live fully in the moment.  Slow down and notice the details in a spider's web, the reflection in a drop of water, slow down and receive the gifts of God that are all around us in the details we often overlook because we are spinning too wildly with busy and haste.

With a group of women, we discussed Ann's question about the dangers of a hurried life, "Describe a time or season of your life when you were moving so rapidly that you skimmed over many of the good gifts God has given you.  As you look back, what did you miss because of the sheer speed you were moving?"

 

Something hit me about this struggle to slow down and the dangers of a hurried life -

It's hard to slow down when it's always sunny.

 

And that's it! 

I've grown up where it is always sunny and there are little to no "seasons."  With a guilt that started somehow as a child, I've constantly forced myself to be out and productive when the sun was shining, which is 90% of my days!  How can I possibly slow down when I live in a place that demands a "go go go" pace sheerly because of the weather?!

If you live where there are true seasons, you are forced to slow down, whether you want to or not!

A true winter causes you to drive slower in the snow and sleet.

You hunker down inside because the elements outside are too harsh to face.

You cozy up by a fire because you are chilled to the bone.

You slow down and are still because you have no other choice.

Don't get me wrong, I know many are buried in snow right now and not exactly seeing it as a gift to slow down!  My cousin is home from school in Pennsylvania because of freezing weather and snow and my Uncle in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is telling of 21 degrees below zero temps (is that even legal??)  And our dear friends in Tennessee are home from school because of the harsh cold, and they are not telling these tales in a joyous tone!  They are lamenting in a way!

 

But it is a gift to be forced to stay home and slow down. 
We live in a world of super sonic jets, but we were created for camel travel!

Cancel the life plans that demand being on time, prepared and ready.

Just sit at home and be still.

 

It rained here last weekend.

All day Saturday!

It was glorious.

For the most part I sat on the couch and did nothing.

We had a birthday party scheduled to celebrate my son turning 6, but we canceled it.

Mostly because he caught a little cold, but also because of the rain that wouldn't allow the party to be outside.  I honestly spent most of the day disappointed that I could be more productive and throw the party!  But after several hours of shifting my "go go go" thinking, I sunk into the rhythm of the rain and just relaxed.

It's raining, so it's time to slow down and just enjoy the gift that is now.

 

It wasn't long before the sun came out again and the struggle began again.

How can we slow down and enjoy this one beautiful life we've been given?

If you're at home today because of the weather - school is canceled, roads are closed, work is shut down - be grateful and enjoy the slowing you were meant to live in.

LOVE

Last night marked a year.

For one year now, 5 little girls have gathered in my dining room twice a month to sip lemonade from tea cups, eat mini pizzas and treats, and talk about what it really means to be one of God's Girls!

They are precious.

 

I want my girls to know from a young age that true friends are ones who come around you to listen to you and pray for you.  True friends spur you on towards LOVE and good deeds, they don't walk down the path of gossip with you and point you to the world.

True friends look differently, go to different schools, wear different clothes than you,

but their hearts look much the same.

We've been working through the Fruit of the Spirit, taking our time to talk about each aspect of the Holy Spirit Fruit that shows in our lives as we allow Him to dwell in us.

Of course I saved LOVE for our February gathering!

Last year we talked about God's great love for us, that we are His Masterpieces!

But the love we talked about last night was different.

Last night we talked about our responsibility to love others.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 13:34-35

 

3 big parts in these verses.

First the "what"

LOVE one another

Second the "how"

As I have loved you.

Lastly, the "why"

So that by your love everyone will know that you are my disciples.

 

We sipped cherry milkshakes (departing from our traditional lemonade because pink milkshakes with heart straws looked just too cute!) and ate mini pizzas while we discussed this verse at great length.

 

We are commanded to love. 

Commanded!

Have you ever thought of that?

It's a command without option.  Without caveat.  Without exception. Without excuse.

LOVE one another. Period.

 

We are commanded to love in the way God loves us.

Around the table we shared how God loves

"He cares for us."

"He puts our best first."

Selfless

"He gave us Jesus to die for us."

Sacrifice

"God loves everyone, even those that hate Him."

Unconditional

 

When we love in this way, the same way that God loves us and in the way Jesus exemplified in his earthly life, people stop and take notice.  This kind of love is radically different than the love the world shows.

It seems that our world is lost in the love of self.  That kind of love only points inward. 

It's a dead end. 

But the unconditional, selfless love of God points out.

It points up.

 

Milkshakes and pizzas gave way to decorating heart sugar cookies as we talked some more.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."

Hebrews 10:24

 

How can we encourage each other to love?

One girl shared about a mean girl at school.  Another girl nodded, "yea, she's really mean."

"It would be easy for the two of you to walk away from her and talk about how mean she is.  You could gossip about her and turn others away from her," I started.

"But what if together you pray for her?"

We are commanded to LOVE, and we are asked to consider how we can encourage each other to keep this very difficult command.

 

We concluded our time praying for one another, and praying for the mean girl.