Monday, February 10, 2014

They Should Be Building Forts

A few weeks ago, I looked out the window and saw this!
An awesome fort that the children built, totally on their own.
They tied our "fort sheets" to the trees, secured them with jump ropes, and proceeded to bring out all their games into the fort!
It was awesome!

I tried to snap a few pictures without them seeing me!  
They were so magical.

They were playing Headbandz!
Just kids being kids
totally creative
totally pure
totally free.

Having children makes one reflect a lot on their own childhood.
I don't know about you, but children today seem very different than when I was a child.
My children participate in far too many conversations that are really just for the adults.
 I recall that as I child, I didn't really engage adults unless they asked me a question.
My children interject their opinions and ideas in situations that are totally none of their concern.
I never told my mother how to drive or what she should be making for dinner!
They are not really sassy about it, actually, they act too much like it's normal for them to participate in most areas of my life - like the moments that aren't for them to worry about!
I don't know where they learned this.
I don't really know when it began, but I know it has to change.
Not only is it slightly annoying, but their shoulders cannot bear the many decisions 
that adults must make in one day.
They cannot process grown up concepts, nor should they.
I confess, one thing that has come to mind is that perhaps I've included them in too many decisions.
I find myself getting in a rut about cooking 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, so I've taken to sitting down with them and asking what dinners they want for the week.
Seems like no big deal right?
What's the harm in my children telling me what meals they like, right?
Well, the truth is that I'm asking them because I can't make a decision!  I'm looking for their input because I need it.
As a child, I was only asked on special occasion what I wanted for dinner.
Other than that, my mother cooked and we ate.  It wasn't a child's responsibility to plan the weekly menu!
This is just one small area, but I see how I invite them in in far too many areas that seem innocent, but when compiled all together, it's too much for little people to handle!
Asking their opinion on too many things, blurs lines and almost puts us all on the same level.
But then kids don't have the freedom to be kids.
They start to worry about stuff that shouldn't concern them at all!
When really, they should be building forts.
We've made the decision, my husband and I that is!, that we are going to consciously step up and make decisions and not include the children on so much of the process.  At least not at this age.
(my children are 4 and 7)
What do you think?
Do you experience some blurred lines and the ill-effects of it?


  1. Yes!! The problem is that they love to help and "be big" and so of course I let them. This skews my perspective of what they are and should be capable of. It all comes tumbling down when they turn back into the age they actually are and are all of a sudden incapable of all things big or small. Frustration mounts on both sides and it is just better if we let kids be kids and parents be the adults. Lovely pictures and an amazing fort!!!

  2. We struggle with this too! It seems like they SHOULD be more grown up... but they're only 5, 6 and 8. Much too young to be "in charge" of so many details and decisions! I love this post today. I agree with the previous comment- I ask "What do you want for dinner" and I get 4 different answers. So then they argue and get frustrated. Then I get frustrated. Then I end up making whatever sounds easiest of the options given because I'm so frazzled from the arguing over the decision that I just want to be done! UGH! You're absolutely right... they should be building forts! Great pics :)

  3. This was a thought-provoking post for me... I think that most people would agree that kids today have trouble with authority, meaning that they don't like to have other people making decision for them. But one of the most important lessons we can teach our children is that the world does not revolve around them. They do not get to choose everything they want, and they need to respect the decisions made by the adults in their lives. Eventually this translates into understanding the authority of God in their lives, and respecting His decisions too. Perhaps witnessing good decision-making is a better way to teach that skill than having them prematurely make decisions they are incapable of? And I totally agree with Boni Lady that my kids never choose the same thing so I just wind up with an argument when I include them!



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