Intentional Family - Challenge Level Part II

      Do you think it is possible for a family to be over challenged or under challenged? Perhaps we expect too much of our children or plan too many activities. Or maybe we have no expectations, no plans and no vision. Children, just like us, will thrive if they are appropriately challenged. (If you’re lost on the whole challenge level thing, check out this post.) If children are over challenged, they are in danger of potential burn out and frustration. If they are under challenged, they are in a position to become bored, lazy and not living into their full potential.

      On a spectrum, there are 3 areas: Under Challenged, Appropriate Challenge Level, and Dangerously Over Challenged.

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Dangerously

Over

Challenged

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Appropriate

Challenge

Level

_________________

Under

Challenged

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      It‘s difficult as a parent, especially as a mom, to keep everyone’s life in balance. It would be one thing if I only had to worry about myself (that’s hard enough!), But the reality is, I’m also responsible for 3 other little lives and keeping them appropriately challenged. It’s tough!
      Again, this post is NOT about doing more. It is NOT about feeling guilty because you haven’t done enough. It’s just important that we take some time to look at our kiddos individually and ask some intentional questions about their challenge level. I’m sure we can all agree that our desire is to raise healthy kids that are well rounded and that love Jesus. Sometime it’s easy to get out of wack and start to focus on other things that eat up our time and ultimately pull us away from those family values that we talked about a few weeks ago.
      Those family values come in very handy when making decisions about where to invest our time. If our children are running from soccer to dance to AWANA to play dates to karate, grabbing McDonald’s in between, is that in line with the family value “Family First”? Or if our children on the couch after school, playing video games for hours, getting into trouble because they’re bored, shuffling around with “nothing to do,” is that reflective of the family value “Work Hard”?  Whatever your family values are, use them to guide you as you help your children be appropriately challenged.

      There are a few areas of challenge to be looked at, not just after school involvement. Here are some questions to consider:

How challenged are your littles?

Physically?

Mentally?

Spiritually?

One thing that is really cool about having more than one child is that you get to see how different they really are and how God has not only uniquely gifted them, but also given them a unique perspective and approach to life. That is why, if you have more than one child, it is important to evaluate them individually. Just like us, children all have different appropriate challenge levels – what’s good for some is not good for others.

      One of the best gifts we can give our children is to create an environment for them where they can thrive! That environment doesn’t create itself – it takes intentional parents to make it happen. As parents, our most valuable weapon in raising our children is prayer. So pray through your family’s challenge level and ask God to make clear the appropriate level of challenge for everyone. God knows your children better than you do and he knows what is best for them – just ask him!!

CHALLENGE:
Take some time to make a challenge level chart for each child. Put an “X” where you think they are currently operating. Put an “*” where you think they perform optimally. What can you do as a mom to help your child be appropriately challenged in the various areas of their lives? Do you need to help them say no to some things and cut back on their schedule? Do you need to encourage them to branch out and try something new? Ask God for wisdom and discernment.

FLASHBACK QUESTION:
How did you make out last week evaluating your own challenge level? What potential changes are you making? It’s important that we set a good example for our children – it starts with us being appropriately challenged!

Intentional Family - Challenge Level Part I

Adapted from a lecture by Bill Hybels at the Global Leadership Summit

        What is your current challenge level as a Mom? What is your current challenge level in life? These aren’t questions we normally ask ourselves! We’re usually too busy to take the time to honestly evaluate where we’re at! But these simple questions have recently changed my life.

On a spectrum, there are 3 areas:

Under Challenged, Appropriate Challenge Level, and Dangerously Over Challenged.

__________________

Dangerously

Over

Challenged

________________

Appropriate

Challenge

Level

__________________

Under

Challenged

___________________

        If we are under challenged, we are not bringing our best game to our families. If we are dangerously over challenged, we are setting an unhealthy example and once again not bringing our best to the table. The optimum place to be is just above the Appropriate Challenge Level where we are stretched and challenged, but not to the point of being overwhelmed and stressed.
        This post today is NOT about doing more. It is NOT about loading up your week with more activities and chaos. It’s NOT about feeling guilty that you don’t do enough. Please don’t for a moment think that this is all about becoming Super Mom who can do it all! The challenge level evaluation is an individual thing. An appropriate challenge level to me might look totally different than an appropriate challenge level to you.

        Looking at the challenge level chart, I was asked to place an “X” where my current challenge level was and an “*” where I do my best work. I placed my “X” high up in the “under challenged” section. I then placed my “*” at the bottom of the “Dangerously Over Challenged” section. I know that I operate best when I am just slightly above an appropriate challenge level, a place where I’m stretched and pushed a bit, but not to the point of breaking. And in that lecture, I was honest to say that in my life I was operating in an under challenged realm.
        I looked at a few areas in my life – physical, spiritual, parenting, and marriage. Physically I’ve known that I’m way under challenged and that’s why we decided a few months back that it was worth the investment to join a gym so that I could challenge my body physically, be a healthy example to my children, and gain more energy through a healthy life style. I thought it would be impossible to find the time to go work out, but it’s amazing how when something becomes a priority how the time is found!
        Spiritually I’ve felt very under challenged as well. I decided to take some steps to challenge myself spiritually this year by joining a Bible study and mentoring a group of college students. And I’ve known that I’m squeaking by with the bare minimum in some areas of my responsibilities as a wife and mother which is why I decided to cancel cable!
        The truth is that I’m not very disciplined. I know for me one of my biggest distractions is the television. I could be spending quality time with my husband in conversation, playing a game, or watching an occasional movie. I could be packing the kids’ lunches the night before so I’m not running around like crazy in the morning. But instead I’m watching television. I came home and told my husband that we needed to cancel cable. He agreed and our cable is gone. (Let me be clear in saying that we still have Netflix and can stream movies into our television, which we do. I am not against television at all.)

        If we are going to be intentional mothers, intentional wives, intentional children of God, then we need to honestly evaluate our lives and admit where our current challenge level is. We might need to kick it up a notch. Or we might need to learn to say, “no” more and let some things go.

Challenge:
Take a moment and copy down the challenge level chart on a piece of paper.
Put an “X” where your current challenge level is.
Where do you do your best work? Put a “*” where you perform best.
Ask God to reveal to you ways in which you can get to the place of your optimum performance. Perhaps you need to cut a few things out of your life. Or maybe you need to be challenged in some areas.

Question:
How was you experience last week in thinking about Family Values?