Chasing The Light

My daughters are about to hit double digits!

I've considered this milestone birthday for sometime and wondered how I might make it special and memorable for them.

Perhaps I'm really trying to make it most memorable for myself!

It's all going so quickly, rather cliche I know, but far too true not to say.

I want to mark this 10th birthday because it's the last one they'll ever have.

My baby girls will only turn 10 once!

They're so excited to grow up.

I'm holding onto every moment, wishing I could pause and rewind a bit.

In my effort to pause their little lives, I took them into the hills to capture some photos of them.

In desperate pursuit of the "golden hour," we devoured our dinner and took off for the hills.

As we started our hike, I feared we missed it.  

A hiker on the trail passing us by simply said, "chasing the light!"

Yes, I was chasing more than light.

I was chasing my little girls that were quickly on the trail to teendom 

and then college and marriage and...

I needed to run faster.

Out of breath and increasingly disappointed,

 I ran even faster to capture the fleeing bits of gold.

And just when I thought we'd missed it, I turned around to find my girls putting flowers in each other's hair.

All too soon this life scene between sisters will repeat,

 perhaps with doing each other's hair for prom or their wedding, 

and even more then, I want to be on the trail with them, chasing the light that is their lives.

7

Today my baby girls turn 7!

 

 

When we finally got to bring them home from the hospital, it was a like a dream come true for me.

They were my little dolls and I would dress them up, several times a day, and take hundreds of pictures of them!

They were so tiny.

I truly loved every moment of newborn land!  Even the 1am feedings were exciting and new.

I can honestly say that it was the most magical season of my life thus far.

 

 

Many things have remained the same.

Like dressing them up and taking hundreds of photos!

 

 

But many things have changed as well!

 Now photo shoots require bribes!

 

Being woken up at 1am isn't that great!

 

And just the other day I was telling my mother that if someone would have told me that being a mother was so stressful, I'm not sure I would have done it!

Why doesn't anyone tell you how hard it is?!

 

 

These tiny, beautiful babies that are now 7 year olds have challenged me,

pushed me to my limits, brought out some ugly characteristics that I never knew I had, and forced me to be present in every moment of life.

What I say, what I do, how I react in the moment - they are watching it all and reflecting it right back to me.

Oh, I never knew how truly selfish I was until I became a mother!

They are quick to forgive me as I fail time and again.

"It's ok Mommy."

They extend unconditional love after I've lost my temper.

"I want you to hold my hand Mommy, because I love you."

They remind me that my worth is not found in perfection, but in truth.

"You are the best Mommy I could ever have."

Being a Mommy for the past 7 years has been extremely difficult.

But I can confidently say that God has used 2 of His most precious refining tools in my life to reshape me and make me more into who He wants me to be.

I have a long way to go. 

 But I'm thankful that these precious refining tools will be my companions as long as I live and I will continue to grow and change as God uses them to make me more into His image.

 

Happy Birthday baby girls!

You are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.

You both are uniquely gifted to make a difference in this world, starting with me and my world!

You will always be my tiny dolls and are still the best gift I've ever been given.
 I will always love you both so very much.

xoxoxo

Moma