Showing posts with label 1000 Gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1000 Gifts. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

It's Hard to Slow Down When It's Always Sunny

Looking back, I remember often having the guilty feeling that I should be outside. 
On a sunny day, I might want to lay in bed and read or play with my dolls, but I'd think,
"It's too nice of a day to stay indoors," and with a guilty pressure, I'd head outside.
I would almost anxiously wait for it to get dark because then I'd have permission to come back inside!  Maybe that's why I've always loved the rain.  It gives me freedom to be inside without guilt!
But when you live in the Golden State, where it is sunny about 360 days a year, there isn't much freedom to remain inside, still, quiet, under a blanket for those such as me.
 
 
A few years back when I read Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts," something profound struck me.
She encourages all to slow down, stop rushing through life as if it were an emergency.  Slow down and live fully in the moment.  Slow down and notice the details in a spider's web, the reflection in a drop of water, slow down and receive the gifts of God that are all around us in the details we often overlook because we are spinning too wildly with busy and haste.
With a group of women, we discussed Ann's question about the dangers of a hurried life, "Describe a time or season of your life when you were moving so rapidly that you skimmed over many of the good gifts God has given you.  As you look back, what did you miss because of the sheer speed you were moving?"
 
Something hit me about this struggle to slow down and the dangers of a hurried life -
It's hard to slow down when it's always sunny.
 
And that's it! 
I've grown up where it is always sunny and there are little to no "seasons."  With a guilt that started somehow as a child, I've constantly forced myself to be out and productive when the sun was shining, which is 90% of my days!  How can I possibly slow down when I live in a place that demands a "go go go" pace sheerly because of the weather?!
If you live where there are true seasons, you are forced to slow down, whether you want to or not!
A true winter causes you to drive slower in the snow and sleet.
You hunker down inside because the elements outside are too harsh to face.
You cozy up by a fire because you are chilled to the bone.
You slow down and are still because you have no other choice.
Don't get me wrong, I know many are buried in snow right now and not exactly seeing it as a gift to slow down!  My cousin is home from school in Pennsylvania because of freezing weather and snow and my Uncle in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is telling of 21 degrees below zero temps (is that even legal??)  And our dear friends in Tennessee are home from school because of the harsh cold, and they are not telling these tales in a joyous tone!  They are lamenting in a way!
 
But it is a gift to be forced to stay home and slow down. 
We live in a world of super sonic jets, but we were created for camel travel!
Cancel the life plans that demand being on time, prepared and ready.
Just sit at home and be still.
 
It rained here last weekend.
All day Saturday!
It was glorious.
For the most part I sat on the couch and did nothing.
We had a birthday party scheduled to celebrate my son turning 6, but we canceled it.
Mostly because he caught a little cold, but also because of the rain that wouldn't allow the party to be outside.  I honestly spent most of the day disappointed that I could be more productive and throw the party!  But after several hours of shifting my "go go go" thinking, I sunk into the rhythm of the rain and just relaxed.
It's raining, so it's time to slow down and just enjoy the gift that is now.
 
It wasn't long before the sun came out again and the struggle began again.
How can we slow down and enjoy this one beautiful life we've been given?
If you're at home today because of the weather - school is canceled, roads are closed, work is shut down - be grateful and enjoy the slowing you were meant to live in.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Give Thanks = Content

Our pastor has being doing a wonderful series called Change of Heart, examining the conditions of the heart - the hungry heart, lonely heart, prideful heart...
Yesterday he talked about the suffering heart.
There was something about the morning that was different.
There was a thick presence in the air.
Perhaps it was my new fun haircut!  Or perhaps it was the Holy Spirit.
As the music played I found myself fighting back tears - not totally uncommon for me! 
 But this felt different, like a wave was about to crash over me and no matter how fast I tried to turn and run, I would not escape the enveloping water.
"Blessed be your name,
in the land that is plentiful,
where streams of abundance flow,
Blessed be your name."
 
We began to sing what has already become an "oldie but a goodie,"
and I could hear the roar of that wave getting closer to me.
 
"Blessed be your name,
when I'm found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness,
Blessed be your name."
"Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say,
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Blessed be your name."
 
After reading Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts, I've learned to apply this truth in my own life,
whether blessing or darkness, give thanks and bless the Lord.  It truly is one of the great keys to being content (my word for 2015).  Cultivating a grateful heart also grows a content heart.
And as the refrain approached, so did that tidal wave.
 
"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name."
 
Not just teary eyes, but the "oh my word, I'm about to shake and perhaps snort with weeping," realization hit me as fast and hard as a crashing wave and there I was, cute new haircut and all, using every dry finger to wipe my eyes as tears fell more quickly than I could catch.  I knew my running mascara had now radically transformed my look!
 
And in a moment I was right back in that car in front of my doctor's office, almost 4 years and a month ago to the day, tears falling like rain with the realization that the hopes of our 4th baby were gone.  Where there once was a heart beat, there now was none.
As I wept in my car with the news, I racked my brain, trying to find answers and questioning what I had done to make this happen.
I heard God speak the words of this song, truly the words of His own in scripture,
 "I am the giver of life and I give and take away, blessed be My name."
I found great comfort in those words.
I also found a great challenge in them.
Can I bless God when He takes away?
Will my heart choose to give thanks and bless the Lord in my loss?
 
I was caught totally off-guard at church yesterday as I sobbed.
Just when you think you've moved past a loss, the grief hits you at very
unexpected times, even 4 years later.
But as I cried and sang those words, I found a strength rising up within me as I declared,
"My heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the Lord."
 
Yes, I will be content in all things because I am choosing to give thanks and bless the Lord in the good and in the bad.
 
God's love crashed over me yesterday and I'm so grateful that I could not out-run that wave.
Messy cry and all.
He reminded me that true contentment comes when I choose to have a heart of gratitude
and bless Him at all times.
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
 


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