Good Helper

At the beach house I bought the girls their first kite. I’ve been waiting for this moment and doing it with my brother seemed perfect because he’s always loved to fly kites! The girls were anxious to launch the kite and were thrilled as it lifted off and sailed high. When it first crashed, my daughter ran to pick it up and throw it into the air. My brother, however, discovered that if he just tugged the string, the kite would lift off on its own and fly again. My daughter wasn’t too happy about that (but my brother and I thought it was great that we didn’t need to move and could stay comfy on the sand!). As I saw her disappointment, I realized that she really wanted to help. It wasn’t about doing what was easiest; it was about her having a role in flying the kite. We let her run back and forth every time it crashed and gave her the joy of launching the kite and feeling important as she helped it fly. How many times do I simply do what is quickest and easiest? Eliminating what at the time seems like a nuisance of little people wanting to interfere? All the while there are little hands eager to help and longing to be a part of what I’m doing. Life isn’t all about getting things done in the most perfect or efficient manner. It’s about sharing life, passing on wisdom, teaching simple tasks and learning new things together. Whether it’s making sandwiches, setting the table, or flying kites, I’m better off to take the extra time to include my children and let them help because if I continue to cut them out of the process, one day, when I really need their help, they won’t be equipped or willing.

Top Bunk

We just returned from a lovely vacation at a beach house in Northern California. In dreamlike beach house fashion, the furniture was overstuffed and comfy, there was a large picture window with a spectacular unobstructed view, and downstairs there were bunk beds! That might sound silly, but it was a dream for my little girls! For fear that one might fall out in the middle of the night, they both shared the bottom bunk which was a double bed. Somehow I ended up on the top bunk for the majority of the week and the result was amazing. My daughters slept so soundly and didn’t get up at all through the night. There was such a comfort in knowing that mom was just above them and they were safe. I recall as a child, the times I felt most safe were when we were on vacation and all four of us were together in a hotel room. With mom and dad right next to me, I knew I was safe and I could sleep so peacefully. I love that my God promises to be with me always, to uphold me with His right hand, and to never leave me nor forsake me. There is such a comfort and peace in knowing that I don’t journey through life alone and I can rest assured that someone is on the top bunk, watching over me and keeping me safe.

Discipline

This word takes my mind in a couple of directions – discipline, as in the strength to do something I need to do rather than do what I want to do! Or, discipline, the act of correcting and instructing, usually following inappropriate behavior. These days the later is on my mind most of the time. My daughters need discipline more and more and I find their different responses to discipline rather interesting. One fights me and gets very angry when she is going to be disciplined. She is not broken nor sorry for her actions at all – she is stubborn! The other is still quite upset, but she almost willingly yields to the discipline and will always run to hug me through her tears. Unfortunately, I am much more like the first daughter! It takes me longer to yield to the hand of discipline and truly grasp that it is for my good, and that healthy discipline is done out of love. As a parent, I find the task to disciplining my children out of sheer love for them and a desire to protect them from evil behavior to be rather difficult. I confess that I’m usually disgusted by what they’ve done and rather angry. How does God do it? I’m amazed that He doesn’t pour out His wrath on me more and “let me have it!” He is gentle and kind. His heart breaks when He sees me disobey. He steps in with a controlled strength and loves me desperately as He rescues me from myself. God disciplines the ones that He loves. If we love our children, we must discipline them.

Friends

Nothing thrills me more than to see one of my children genuinely having fun with their friends – playing their own games, running with their imaginations, sharing, hugging… all without a prompting from mom! It’s so magical to see their pure excitement, love, and joy when seeing one of their friends. It’s almost like a sigh of relief, or expectations met, or even a dream come true – that sight of your friend walking through the door that makes you feel like “now the fun can begin!” My heart is full seeing my children want to share life with others. Perhaps we spend too much time with friends because they ask me almost every morning, “who’s coming over today Mommy?”! I grew up surrounded by wonderful family friends that we vacationed with and spent holidays with. All of my relatives live in other states, so these families quickly became what we call our, “California Family.” And truly, they are my family. I want my children to have the same depth of relationship in their lives, relationship that goes beyond play dates, but really is sharing life together. Good times and bad. Nothing is better than great friends to share life with and that truly excited feeling when they walk through your door!

Abundance

I was recently at my neighbor’s house for dinner when I saw their amazing, abundant peach tree. I was envious from the start and asked if they were loving the peaches? She kinda shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “not really.” A few hours later I couldn’t get the plethora of fruit off my mind and starting to grow a bit too envious, so I asked her if she’d be interested in making peach jam? Much to my joy she thought it sounded like fun and we made a date! This is in no reflection of my sweet neighbors whom I love dearly, but I got to thinking of the abundance we have in our lives. It may be in the form of money, time, talents, gifts… what are we doing with the abundance we’ve been given? Are we overwhelmed by the responsibility? Are we sitting idly, ignoring the possibilities? Are we wasting life waiting for just the right moment to share? Or are we giving what we’ve been given to enhance the life of another? God has blessed each one of His children with an abundance for us to use to bless others. If you don’t know what do to with the abundance God has given to you, ask a friend to make some suggestions. They just might have a great idea of what to do with the abundance you have – something you’ve never though of like making "jam"! I am blessed to have several jars of divine peach jam in my home because of the abundance that my neighbors shared.

Share

As parents we are always reminding our children to share their toys with friends or siblings. I am always surprised when I catch my children sharing when they haven’t been reminded to! It’s like a breath of fresh air to see a selfless act from a child. The idea of keeping things to our self must be something we are born with. Surely we were never taught to think of our self first, hold on to what is ours and not share. Yet that is what comes natural to us. Children are not the only ones who don’t share naturally – grown ups don’t either! I mostly think of the lack of sharing the truth as adults. We are reluctant to be honest and say how we really feel. We shy away from asking a friend for help, not wanting to share our need. We hesitate to be candid and share that we are lonely, sad, or hurting. And just like the little ones, I’m always surprised when talking to a friend who openly shares a piece of their real life with me. It is such a breath of fresh air to encounter honest sharing of oneself with another. We can gain so much when we step out and share the truth of who we are or what we are experiencing. And it is always a blessing when someone trusts you enough to share who they are with you. Share – it will do you good!

Worship

My daughters just finished a week at Vacation Bible School. It is a week long camp at church where the children learn Bible verses and themes, make crafts, sing songs and of course play! It was always a highlight of my summer as a child and I could hardly wait for my children to be old enough to go. On the last day I went with camera in hand to film their song and Bible lesson time. As I walked into the large room packed with little people following the leaders up front in song and movement, I immediately welled up with emotion. I didn’t see my girls at first, but pulled out the video camera anyway and began to film. Listening to the words to the songs and watching the children do the corresponding hand motions stirred my spirit and I began to cry. I felt very silly and couldn’t really stop. Song after song, I wiped my eyes and tried to hide behind my camera! All I could think of was, “we were created to worship God.” It was the most natural, simple, perfect scene – children singing praises to God and lifting their hands to Him as if to say, “pick me up Daddy.” We were all created to worship our Creator, God. At the core of our being, our purpose is worship. Nothing feels more fulfilling, natural, or complete than worshipping God with our lives. Many spend their lives searching for meaning, purpose and identity. But, the answer is simple: We were created to worship God. We are worshippers.

My Birthday

I just celebrated my birthday last weekend and at lunch with my dear girlfriends I was asked: what the best part of my 36th year of life was and what I was most looking forward to in this coming year. I quickly said the birth of my baby boy was my highlight last year and was just as quickly reminded that he was born when I was 35!!! So it looks like having 3 kids has taken it’s toll on my memory and sense of time! But those questions prompted me to take some time to reflect on the past year and start to set some goals for this year to come.

Things I am thankful for from this past year of life are:
Watching my daughters fall in love with their baby brother
Watching my husband fall in love with his son
Celebrating 5 years of marriage
Taking a parenting class that has changed my life
Watching my daughters fall in love with learning through preschool
Going on a weekend marriage retreat with my husband
Celebrating the holidays with lots of family and friends
Getting to speak at a college retreat in Seattle
Celebrating my brother’s 40th year of life
Watching my son take his first steps
Going with my daughters to their first tea
Taking a trip to Cabo with my husband
Getting to speak to the young adults of Bel Air Pres
Watching my daughters fall in love with the ocean at the beach
Spending a life changing weekend with my Grandmother a month before she died
Being surrounded by many who love me and call me higher
I am a blessed woman and could go on and on about all that I’m thankful for as I reflect. As far as goals for the next year, well, those will probably become more apparent in future posts!

Life Takes Time

I picked the first tomatoes from my garden the other day and I was over the moon with the results! I think they are the most perfect tomatoes I’ve ever seen. Their color is uniform and brilliant red, their skin is tight and shiny with no blemish, they are beautifully topped with perfect green stems and they taste even better than they look! I have to admit, I didn’t think they would turn out so well. My garden has been a challenge this Summer for many unknown reasons. I have tons of tomatoes on the vines, but I was skeptical if they would ripen and be edible. I guess I really didn’t have much vision for my tomatoes. I got excited at the first sign of growth, but quickly lost heart as days passed and nothing much more happened. Everything in life takes time. It’s easy to start out the gate with excitement and passion, then quickly lose momentum when months and years go by with little results. All the while, God has a plan and He will not reveal the finished product until all the lessons have been learned along the way. If we “pick our fruit” too soon, we will miss out on all of the powerful flavors. I guess I need to be more patient and trust that in time, all things will come to fruition according to God’s plan.

One On One

My daughters just returned from a week at Camp Grammie. They were finally old enough to spend about 5 days away with their grandparents without missing us too much! Having just lost my Grandmother, I was so excited for my daughters to get this special one on one time with their Grammie and start building memories of a lifetime with her. They came home in their camp shirts and hats, so excited to share their stories and crafts with us! I got the joy of having only one child for the week. My first babies were twins, so I never got to experience life with just one baby! At first I really didn’t know what to do with my one year old son. I make it a habit to never take my children to the grocery store or mall for obvious reasons! But I had a few errands to run. I talked to a girlfriend of mine who has one baby the same age and she said, “at this age, he doesn’t care what you are doing, he just wants your undivided attention.” I pushed my guilt aside of indulging in my own needs and took him on all my errands. It was true – he didn’t care where we were, just as long as we were together. It’s amazing what one on one time can do for us. My girls came home feeling so loved and special because they had one on one time with Grammie and Papa. I felt so special and blessed that I got one on one time with my son. And I know that the little dude missed his sissys, but loved the undivided attention! The same gifts await us when we get alone with God. It is wonderful to go to church or be involved in small group Bible studies, but, we can grow so much when we get alone with God for one on one time. Our undivided attention focused only on Him – His delight of simply being alone with one of His children.

Unexpected Blessings

I recently stopped to buy some strawberries from my favorite “Strawberry Lady” who picks in the morning, then sells in the afternoon! I love her. When I got out of my car, I looked down to find a Home Depot gift card laying in the street, obviously bruised from cars running over it. I picked it up, excited at the possibility of what was on that card. Today, a few weeks later, I went into Home Depot and asked how much money was left on the card, they said $50! I felt guilty knowing that it really wasn’t my money. I didn’t steal it. I couldn’t possibly find who it originally belonged to because there were no houses or people around when I found it (except the Strawberry Lady, and I know it was not hers!). It was truly a case of finders keepers! But yet I felt like a thief using it to buy flowers. As a child I would find money all the time. There was a season when I wouldn’t go more than a week without finding at least $5. My friend and I would ride our bikes to the local junior college in the Summer and find tons of money under the vending machines and use it to buy snacks! At Home Depot, one side of me felt like that thrilled little girl again who struck it rich! Another part of me felt like I needed to keep looking over my shoulder, afraid that I was going to get caught. Sometimes life gives us unexpected blessings. Better to just receive them and completely enjoy rather than feeling guilty.

Independence

As we just celebrated The 4th of July, or Independence Day, I’ve been thinking about the word “independence.” My daughters are 4 years old and I see their independence growing every day. This week they are up at Grammie Camp – a true sign that they are growing up as we’ve waited until we thought they could make it through a week without missing Mommy too much! Independence is something we strive for in our lives and something we work towards developing in our children as parents. We try to get them to feed themselves, teach them to go potty on their own, and show them how to dress themselves – it is all an effort to give them independence and thrust them away from their dependence on us. This idea of creating a person who is self sufficient seems so natural and positive. We praise their every accomplishment and cheer them onto the next. Isn’t it odd then that as an adult I strive to be less independent and more dependent on God? To trust His guidance rather than trying to master my own sense of direction. To rely on His strength rather than doing reps to build up my own muscle. To put my weight down on His Word rather than straining to find my own wisdom. I guess the beauty of Independence Day is that many lost their lives so that we could find ours in Christ. They gave us the “independence” or freedom from an authority that dictated religion, so that we could freely place our dependence upon the god of our choice. As I continue to help my children grow and develop into little people who no longer need Mommy to do everything for them, I hope to also point them towards Jesus who can do everything for them. Independent from me, dependent on God.

Holding Hands

For Father’s Day I always love to do a little photo shoot at the beach with the children and their Daddy. Now that we have three children, getting a good photo of all of them seems impossible! I often have an idea in my head of an image I want to capture and somehow forcing that moment to happen only makes for a terrible picture! These pictures are precious, even though I don’t have the full attention of all the children!
As I’ve looked at the series of photos, I’ve noticed the different postures of the children. They remind me of myself while walking through life holding God’s hand. Sometimes I’m holding on for dear life, terrified of the path ahead of me. Sometimes I’m looking back at where I’ve been, perhaps stuck in the past. And still other times I’m able to look out at the beauty around me, completely content and safe in His presence. I guess what is most beautiful to me is that although each child is doing their own thing, not cooperating for mommy’s dream photo!!!, they are all holding hands with their father. Perhaps that is the most important thing – that we remain holding God’s hand throughout life - knowing that the mere strength of His hand will bring our focus back when we’re distracted; the very warmth of His hand will comfort us when we’re afraid of the path we’re on; the massive size of His hand that seems to envelope ours gives us the security to relax and enjoy life. No matter your season of life, there is nothing better than holding God's hand as you journey on.

Responsibility

I was once told, “Responsibility is the great developer of people.” I had just finished my junior year in college and was working at a camp in Northern Wisconsin. This camp was different from any camp I’ve ever worked at because their focus was not on the campers, it was on the staff. The purpose of this camp was to develop college students into leaders through camping ministry. I remember being shocked at the responsibilities I was given that summer. Not only did I think I could not handle the tasks being asked of me, (like leading wilderness trips with 11 year old kids for 3 days – no cell phones, no trails, using a map and compass, no camping stoves…) but I wondered how safe parents felt with me taking care of their children in the wilderness! A month before the campers arrived, we were in training. We went out on our first backpack trip and I remember seeing our packs resting up against a tree as the truck let us off in the middle of the woods. I bent down to put on my pack and it seemed to weigh more than I did. I could barely stand up. After trying to hike for about 15 minutes, I told our guide, “I can’t do this.” I remember his response vividly, “You can do it, and you will.” A little shocked and offended, I stood still as he removed a few items from my pack and placed them in his own. It was a very tough trip, but he was right - I could do it and I did!
It is so easy to underestimate ourselves, to give up when we still have more to give, or to admit defeat before we’ve even started. But often times when we are challenged with great responsibility, we rise to meet the challenge in ways we didn’t think possible. The weight of responsibility placed on my shoulders that summer was great. At the beginning I wasn’t sure my body could bear the load. But by the end of the summer I was taking things out of my campers packs and placing them in my own. Much was asked of me that summer, and so I grew.

Happy Father's Day

Father. What a profound title to bear. It holds such weight and power, force and presence. Whereas my father carries all that, I prefer to call him Papa Bear or Daddy because in the midst of his strong presence, he is a great cuddler, never shys away from telling me he loves me or how proud he is of me, and he is always available to me. I know most kids think their dad is the best, but mine truly is! There is little to nothing that my Dad does not know, cannot fix, or won’t do to help his family and friends. One of my Dad’s famous phrases is, “you do it once and you do it right.” That pretty much sums up my Father! He does everything in his life with excellence.
I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for all my Dad has given to me. Because of my Dad, I love to travel, love good food, and try to do everything to the absolute best of my ability. My Father is an amazing man who has a fine resume that includes the entrepreneur of a successful company, fierce water skier, champion Swiss Platzgen player, puzzle master, Christmas tree light hanger extraordinaire, motorcyclist, race car enthusiast, pianist, guitar player, and the list goes on! But his most successful accomplishment is a marriage of 40+ years, 2 children who love and respect him, and 3 grandchildren that adore their Papa.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy.

I love you, -Your Sunshine

PHOTOS: Top - When my Dad first saw me in my wedding dress on my wedding day. I love that he looks speechless. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. It think I was only more nervous for my groom to see me!

Middle - my Daddy putting on my pearl necklace that he bought me in Japan when I was a child.

Bottom - my Dad surprised me for the Father Daughter Dance and played his guitar while dancing with me like he did when I was a little girl.

Expectations

I’ve heard some say that when we have children, we should lower our expectations. That didn’t sit well with me as I think we can expect much of them, challenge them, respect their ability to learn and grow beyond what we think. But I’ve begun to realize that I do need to lower my expectations a bit in order to truly honor my children in their current stage of life – childhood! They don’t understand the concept of time. They don’t know what “next week,” “next month,” “in five minutes,” or “hurry” means. They can’t totally grasp how their Daddy is also my husband and their Papa is my Daddy! They can’t comprehend why they can’t use my sharp knives, carry their brother around, or stir boiling water on the stove. When it comes to lowering expectations, I need to shift my expectations of my children in the sense that I need to expect them to do things as children do and not as adults. Because they don’t understand time, yelling at them to hurry up when we’re late for school means nothing. They just don’t get it and I can’t expect them to yet! I’m learning that lowering expectations isn’t a lazy or negative thing. It simply means viewing situations and circumstances through the eyes of a 4 or 1 year old who is experiencing the world for the very first time. They have no prior experience.
My daughter just came in and interrupted me:
“When I’m 46 can I have my birthday? And remember, I want a flamingo birthday!”
Enough said! They’re children and all too soon they’ll grasp time, relationships and danger. For now I’m going to expect them to be children and start planning that flamingo birthday party!!

Simple

I can’t put my finger on it, but what make life more simple in a small town? People are people wherever you go with the same fears, same problems, same insecurities… So why are things slower, more simple and somewhat peaceful in a small town? A few days in a small town in the Midwest allowed me to take a deep breath and be quiet. People smiled, drove slowly, waved, and opened conversations with total strangers (me!). My cousin was so calm with her 4 children ages 4 and under (the youngest being 3 month old twins!), and I wondered why am I not more calm with my little ones? I take full responsibility for the chaos in my life. Some like to blame Los Angeles traffic, the media, or the abundance of choices we daily face. But, I think I’m mostly responsible for taking the simple and making it complicated. It’s a matter of focusing on what truly matters, being true to oneself, and having a firm foundation that is not shaken by society. That can happen in a big city or a small town.

Something Greater Than Myself

I recently returned from Michigan where I attended my Grandmother’s funeral. It was a blessed trip - nice to see family that I don’t see often, and a wonderful and necessary time of saying goodbye to my Grandmother. Prior to traveling, I was telling my husband that my Grandma was the only grandparent of ours that ever got to meet our children. As I cried I had this overwhelming feeling of being small and unanchored. Without my Grandma, we only have our parents to go back to. I felt like I was missing something greater than myself,

greater than just the generation before me.
The day after my Grandma’s service I was driving to her home through the corn, beans, and beet fields. Even though it was pouring rain, I was enjoying all the old barns that I passed by. Tears began to run down my face like the rain streaming down my windshield. I felt once again this sense of missing something greater than myself. I ached with the longing for older wisdom and experience, someone who had seen more of life than me and could offer words of hope and encouragement. Just then “Creed” by Rich Mullens came on the radio.
"I believe in God the Father almighty
Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ
His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried
CHORUS:
And I believe what I believe
Is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not
The invention of any man
I believe that He who suffered
Was crucified, buried, and dead
He descended into hell and
On the third day, rose again
He ascended into Heaven where
He sits at God's mighty right hand
I believe that He's returning to
Judge the quick and the dead
Of the sons of men
CHORUS
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe in God the Father almighty
Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son,
Our Lord
I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church, the communion of Saints
The forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends"
Yes, there is something greater than myself and it is not just the generations who’ve gone before me. The God I believe in is much greater than me and he is my anchor. He is who makes me who I am. He is my source of wisdom and experience. He is my promised hope for the future and the future generations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tpq4MoRVV4

Leave A Legacy

I talked to my mom this morning and she told me that my Grandma had passed away a few hours ago. She is in heaven with Jesus, what she had longed for her whole life.
When I went back to visit my Grandma a month ago, my mom and I went to her house. In the basement there is a large counter on wheels that my Grandfather built. My mom said that they would use this to entertain. My Grandma would have the church over for different occasions and she’d wheel the large counter out to serve food on and entertain with. My Grandma was always entertaining and cooking for people. As we walked through the house, neat as a pin, I kept thinking of my mom. Her home is in perfect order, she loves to entertain and does it rather well, and not a day goes by when the house is not filled with aromas of fabulous home cooked food! She is so much like her mom. Then I laugh! Whereas my home is not neat as a pin, I too love to entertain and cook for anyone that will let me! I am so much like me mom! My Grandmother has left a legacy. Not only has she passed down homemaking and entertaining, but most importantly, she has passed down a faith in Jesus Christ that is far more important than an orderly home and fine cooked meals. I’ve always said that my faith is largely due to my mother. I know that her faith as well is due to her mother who shared Christ with her family, served the church faithfully and lived everyday in the hopes of meeting Jesus face to face. As I got into the car this morning to take my daughters to school, I was crying. My little girls asked me what was wrong? “Great Grandma just died,” I said. Then one said, “We need to pray for Great Grandma”… and the next generation of believing women has begun.

Our Children Are Not Our Own

Since we’ve lived in this house, the same little bird family builds a nest in the same place every year. I suppose we should feel flattered that they return to what they think is a perfect place to raise a family year after year! Yesterday my daughter came and found me to tell me that she saw a tiny bird that was so cute, “come see Mommy.” We peeked out the guestroom window to see a little baby bird on the ground and as the girls oooed and ahhhed over the tiny wonder I began to cry. I tried not to let them see my tears. They marveled at the sweet baby while I observed the frantic mama bird and papa bird panicking as they flew about. The little one tried to hop along a bit, obviously not ready to fly yet. I don’t know the whole story – did he fall out of the nest? Was there a problem with his wing when we took his first leap to fly? The only thing I knew was that something was wrong and the parents were terribly upset. They couldn’t pick him up and bring him back to the nest. In my adult life I’ve had two close friends deliver still born babies. I can’t imagine what that is like to panic at the news of a lifeless baby, to struggle knowing there is nothing you can do to return that little one to safety. All of these thoughts flooded my mind as I watched this bird family struggle. I then remembered the words a mother spoke at a funeral for her daughter who had just completed her PhD and flew home to be with family for the holidays. When she arrived home, she went to bed and didn’t wake up. At her funeral, her mother spoke and I’ll never forget what she said. She thanked the many people who sent her words of encouragement and comfort over the past few days. Many grieved over the fact that our friend died young. Who was the man she would have married? The children she might have had? The students she would have taught? Her mother simply said, “my daughter was not here for them. She was here for us.” Wow. I could not believe the strength, peace and wisdom of this mother who had just lost her daughter. Obviously she knew all along what I hope to know as a mother – that our children are not our own. They belong to God and are on a brief loan to us for such a time as He sees fit. Sometimes He only allows us to have them for a very brief moment. Psalm 139:16 says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” I find comfort in this verse that tells me God knows the span of our life and his timing is perfect. I didn’t see the baby bird today. If he’s not flying around, I trust that he’s flying up in heaven!

When All Gets Quiet

Sometimes as a Mom we savor the moments when all gets quiet. All the children are asleep, a moment alone in the car, or even a midnight feeding. Then there are times when all gets quiet and we begin to panic! Then children are off playing and we hear nothing – what kind of trouble is going on? The other day this kind of quiet came over my home and part of me was tempted to go see what kind of mischief the little ones were into. However, the other part of me just wanted to let them be, regardless of what was going on, and let them relish in the moment of being all alone, doing whatever they wanted! It was a gamble, but I won! I let them alone for about 45 minutes and then peeked in to find a magical moment. They had dressed themselves up in silly clothes and were playing so nicely together with beautiful, innocent imaginations. My heart was full.

I had a brief day dream about God when all gets quiet in his home –

when He hasn’t heard from me in awhile.

When all gets quiet on my end of life does He panic that I’m getting into trouble?

Does He sit back and let me go, only to peek in on me later to find me serving Him quietly?

I want to be found honoring God with my life when all gets quiet.

Fruit Of The Spirit

As the fruit trees in our backyard continue to produce beautiful fruit, I’ve been thinking about the Fruit of the Spirit and a Sunday School lesson I once heard. When talking about the Fruit of the Spirit, many people call them the “Fruits of the Spirit.” Perhaps this is because there are multiple virtues: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control. We often select one virtue and try to work on it in our life. My favorite one to focus on is self control!! But really, these virtues are not separate attributes that we can select and try to achieve in our life. They are a collective result of God’s Spirit in our life. The Fruit of God’s Spirit means the evidence of God’s Spirit – the result. If we want these virtues to be evident in us, then we don’t need to single them out and try to master each one, we simply need to be filled with God’s Spirit and then all of the Fruit of His Spirit will be demonstrated in us.

Spare Key
I recently locked my keys in my car, in the garage! I always leave my keys in the car when I’m at home so they are exactly where I need them as I’m running out the door. My husband was out of town for the week and I somehow managed to also have the spare set in my purse, which was locked in the car!
What do we do in life when our “key” or our plan A fails? Do we go to plan B – our “spare key”? But what if plan B also doesn’t work? Then what? As I called AAA to come out and unlock my car so I could go pick up my daughters from school, I started to think about the “spare keys” of my life. I realized that I sometimes treat God like my spare key, or my back-up plan. When my plan fails, I go to Him and ask Him to rescue me. But really, God isn’t a back-up plan, He is the plan! His ways are perfect. Sometimes it may not seem like it as things get tough and don’t always make sense, but God can see the larger picture and His plan for us is the best possible plan. The reality is, when God is the main key of my life, there is no need for a spare key.

Happy Mother’s Day
I always thought my mother was pretty amazing, but I never knew how super human she really was until I became a mother. My mom is someone that everyone should have the privilege of knowing. She is a “magical” person – once you meet her, you’ll never be the same. I am so honored that my mom is the woman that so many other women strive to be like. She is an extraordinary cook, she keeps an impeccable home, she dresses to the nines (most of the time!), she sings beautifully, she paints with whimsy, she keeps a lovely garden, she’s kind, she’s generous, she’s never met a stranger! She laughs all the time, freely gives compliments, always puts others first, keeps going beyond what anyone else can do, and lives life to the fullest extent. But, in the midst of all those fabulous things, her finest quality is that she radiates joy. She truly glows all the time with a power that sucks everyone in! Her secret – Jesus. My mother is a God fearing woman who clings to Him at any cost. She loves the Lord and serves Him faithfully and thus is filled with the joy of the Lord and His strength that is so attractive to all who come in contact with her. I’ve learned so much from my mom and continue to do so everyday. I hope and pray that I will be just like her and that my children will see Jesus in me as much as I see Him in my mom. Some people spend their whole lives looking for a best friend. I’m lucky that I was born to mine. I love you Moma, Happy Mother’s Day.

As If It Were My Last
I just spent three days with my Grandma in the nursing home where she was recently moved into. It was a powerful and convicting visit. God answered my prayers for a few good conversations with my Grandma where she was alert and as sharp as usual. One day she seemed to think that she was in heaven. My Grandmother is a strong Christian woman who has served God faithfully her whole life. She played the piano in her church for at least 30 years, she served the missionaries, and has always been involved in the church. I was amazed at the things she was saying on her “day in heaven.” “Have you seen God Raeanne?” “Not yet Grandma. Have you?” “No, but I can’t wait to fall at His feet,” she said with a smile. Through tears she continued, “I’ve prayed for this my whole life. Can you believe it? I’ve waited so long for this.” Then she started naming the people that she needed to look up, friends who are already in heaven. She quoted scripture, sang hymns, and glowed as she basked in the peace of being in heaven where she didn’t need to worry about a thing. Only a day before she cried as she told me, “I love life,” knowing that hers is coming to a close. She insisted that she didn’t want to be in a rest home. But now she was tapping into what she’s known her whole life and longed for – her true home. Everything she has been filling her soul with was now the reality and source of her peace. I was convicted. What am I filling my life with? In my final chapter, what will be in the forefront of my mind? Will it be the excitement and anticipation of seeing God? Will scripture that I’ve memorized flood my mouth as the words ring true and bring comfort and peace? Will I hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”? I am inspired by my Grandma. Her faith and love of Jesus has challenged me to get on it! To once again let the roots of Scripture sink down deep and become the foundation of all that I am. To live today as if it were my last; not indulging in my material cravings, but studying scripture and living with excitement and anticipation of seeing His face very soon.

Chrysalis
Our world has been flooded with butterflies lately. My daughter is in love with red butterflies and wanted that to be the theme of her 4th birthday party (her twin sister wanted pink pigs! So we had a red butterfly pink pig birthday party.). At pre-school the girls each have their own caterpillar who are currently in their cocoons, getting ready to emerge as butterflies. Chrysalis: The stage in which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The dictionary defines chrysalis as "the protected stage of development." It’s amazing to me that one creature can curl up into a capsule, fall asleep, and wake up as a completely different creature! And why? Why doesn’t a caterpillar stay a caterpillar? Why aren’t butterflies just born butterflies? Whatever the answers may be, I’m grateful that God has given us this amazing process to witness through nature and glean hope from it for our own lives. To know that I am a work in progress, that I am no longer what I was and still becoming what I will be, is such a comfort to me. God is at work - creating, transforming, renewing. When I feel stuck in my caterpillarness, weak, longing for more, I am comforted by the promise of chrysalis – I am becoming something greater by the work of God in me.

Start How You Want to Finish
A dear friend gave me this advise in regards to parenting. If you don’t want to end up with your children sleeping in bed with you, then don’t start that way. If you don’t want to end up feeding your children mac and cheese and chicken nuggets every meal, then don’t start that way. This logic is so true, not only for raising children, but for living life! Start how you want to finish. It first demands that we sit and think about the “finish” part of our life– how do I want to end up? What do I want to be known for or how do I want to be remembered? Not to be morbid, but how can we know what path to start down if we don’t know where we want to finish? This idea of thinking about the end result, thinking of the finished product and what I want it to look like has come to the forefront of my mind as my Grandmother is in the sunset years of her life at 89 years old. Our time on earth is so brief, to live without intention is a waste. To start habits or routine that seems easy for the moment, yet we know we’ll have to change down the road, seems foolish. Start how you want to finish. Even if we’ve started down paths that we know will not take us to a wonderful place, it’s not too late to change the course and start anew. Take some time to think about how you want to finish, then make plans to start living in a way that will yield that end result.

Baby Bunnies
I can’t believe you’re 4 years old today! Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that the doctor said, “yes, there are two babies!” I couldn’t believe it. I just prayed that you’d be healthy, but secretly, I hoped you were twin girls! I thought 2 little girls would be so much fun. And God blessed me with twin baby girls!! Emmie Squirrel – you are my precious mouse. I love how you dress up so pretty and dance and sing. You love to include everyone and graciously hand out toys to all your friends. Georgie Mouse – you are my love bug. I love how you help me in the kitchen and dance and sing while doing it! You are so loving and always give hugs and kisses to everyone. I am so blessed to have two darling daughters who teach me so much and challenge me to be a better woman every day. I love you both dearly. Happy Birthday Baby Bunnies!

You Reap What You Sow
My girls and I planted our Summer garden today. It seemed a little bit funny to be planting a “Summer” garden while we were bundled up, trying to quickly plant before the rain came! They had so much fun digging the dirt, helping decide where to place the plants, and placing their pinwheels in the finished garden to add some color and whimsy! But now the really hard work begins – waiting! A garden is such a beautiful thing that teaches so many life lessons. Because we’ve planted zucchini, watermelon, tomatoes and various other vegetables and herbs, we are expecting to harvest zucchini, watermelon, tomatoes, etc. We will not grow what we did not plant! I’ve never seen blueberries grow on a tomato bush! You reap what you sow, or, you grow what you plant into your life. If you want the benefit of a healthy life, you must sow healthy seeds into your life. That means getting rid of hazardous relationships, toxic media, and polluted habits, and replacing them with life-giving relationships, pure information, and clean habits. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, for that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” What fruit are you producing in your life? Is it time to rip out some plants and sow some new seeds? If there are various attributes you are seeking in your life, start planting seeds that will yield that crop in time. You reap what you sow.

Rest
I have a very hard time shutting down my mind. When I lay in bed at night, my mind races with conversations from the day, songs I’ve heard, or to-do lists that still need to be checked off. It’s not difficult to have some time to be physically still, but to be mentally still is another story. My husband and I just came back from a mini vacation. Three simple days alone in Mexico, where something amazing happened – rest! I didn’t get many extra hours of sleep (in fact I didn’t sleep well at all!), I didn’t even visit the spa, but I experienced a lot of rest and relaxation. Maybe it was the hypnotic waves, perhaps the fresh sea air, or simply the fact that I had no schedule to keep and no one to look after, but my mind was completely at peace and thus I was able to truly rest. Constant physical activity can make one very tired, but constant mental activity can be deadly. We need to find a way to quiet our minds to find true rest. When Jesus says, “come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest,” I think what he is really saying is, “come give me everything that is on your mind and I will take care of it so that you can be at peace and rest.” A quiet mind produces incredible rest where 3 days on vacation feels like 13! We are restored, renewed and rested.

Home
We just returned from Easter with Grammie and Papa. Although the home my parents’ live in is not the home I grew up in, it is still on the same piece of property and thus feels like home. Every time I’m there, so many memories come back – birthday parties, slumber parties, Christmas, hot dog roasts in the fire pit, getting ready on my wedding day. All of those things happened at home. Now when I take my children up there to visit, my parents go above and beyond to make our time special. Easter Bunnies filled the house this time. Eggs, chicks, baskets, all welcoming the children to come and play! I was reminded how as a child my mother not only made holidays special, but she truly made each day special. She sang songs to us, cooked amazing meals, tickled us, prayed with us, and she loved us passionately. My father always worked so hard to take care of us, he kept us safe, took us on amazing journeys all over the world, he hugged us tightly and freely told us he loved us. Now back to my “home,” I wonder what memories my children will have of this house. The home where they learned to walk, where their baby brother came home from the hospital, where they started pre-school, where they learned to swim, birthday parties, Christmas… Will they remember a mother who made each day special? Who loved them passionately? Who hugged them tightly and freely told them she loved them? No family is perfect. No parent is always right. No amount of money can turn a house into a home. Only love can do that. If we have nothing else to offer our children than our unconditional love, that is more than enough.

Love
The one thing every human wants and needs in life is love. True love. Unconditional love. Love that will never change, no matter what we do. Without this love in our life, we simply exist. We breathe in and out to fill our lungs, but no life fills our spirit.
Recently, loneliness came over me as I sat in a room with some dear friends. I felt absent from the conversation and absent from the camaraderie of the others. As I drove home I wondered if I truly had friends who loved me. Today is Maundy Thursday, the day before Jesus went to the cross to die and I’m reminded of his time with close friends on the night before his death. They sat around a dinner table and enjoyed a meal together. I wonder if Jesus felt loved by them. Did he feel loneliness in the midst of their company? One of those very dear friends, whom he’d trusted, would betray him and send him to his death. Another would deny that he’d ever known Jesus. Is that love? Why does human love fail us sometimes? We question the love of others. We don’t love ourselves. We wonder what love really is. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” The true love that we seek is not of this world. Wonderful friends and family cannot fulfill us with their human love. True love can only come from God through Jesus. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” The love of Jesus never fails, never disappoints, never runs out.

Forgiveness The absence of it can kill you. The abundance of it can give you new life. What does it mean to forgive someone? “Forgive and Forget,” a popular phrase that seems to mean more about forgetting the person that wronged us than the hurtful act they did. To forgive means to fully understand the magnitude of hurt that someone inflicted upon you, absorb it, and choose to release it. To forgive someone means to set them free from the bondage of their shame, regret, and darkness. To forgive means to set yourself free from painful recollection of the damaging incident, to breathe new life into the wound, to be healed and restored. But beyond forgiving someone of what they did, true forgiveness incorporates a restoration of relationship. God’s love was displayed in greatness through his forgiveness. He held back nothing, no strings attached, no conditions. He simply gave up his rights to himself, fully understood the magnitude of our hurtful acts that separated us from him, absorbed it, and died to it. He totally set us free from our guilt and shame and brought us back to a place of relationship with Him. To receive that is to have new life. To reject that is to choose death. In this Holy Week, the week that Jesus went to the cross to offer us complete forgiveness and fellowship, will you receive his forgiveness and have new life?

Sing A Song
Sing out loud, sing out strong! The Psalms talk a lot about singing praises to God. I love Psalm 98:4, “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music.” I am one of those people who often bursts into song! My husband has said that living with me is like living in a musical! Music is a powerful tool to feed our subconscience, express the deepest parts of our soul, help us learn important principles, or make us well up with emotion. The song that our life sings, reveals the true passion of our heart. In Psalm 40, David writes about the troubles he’s facing in his life and how God has rescued him, “He set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” If the same stale song has been playing over and over again in your life, be encouraged that God wants to give you a new song. God has the power to change the theme song of our life! What song is on your lips today?

Parenthood is a Marathon

The LA Marathon was last weekend and I have several friends who ran in it. I’ve heard from many marathon runners that the whole experience teaches them so much about life. The training, preparation, pacing one self, knowing when to kick it into high gear, when to fall back a bit - it’s all a metaphor for life. Prior to having children, I ran my life more like a sprint. Trying to fit it all in, and do it as quickly as possible! I ran non-stop and loved every moment. Now that I’m older, and have 3 small children, my pace has slowed down a bit! And I’m learning not only to pace myself for this long journey called motherhood, but also to pace out their little lives while they are under my care. It’s really easy to rush things because it becomes so much fun! But life is best when it’s experienced in the proper time, not too early, not too late. Let them walk when they’re ready, let them take to solid foods when they’re ready, let them sleep over at a friend’s house when they’re old enough to enjoy it and not cry in the middle of the night! There are so many fun things to look forward to with our children, but let’s not rush it. We’re in the midst of a marathon here, not a sprint! We need to train well, pace ourselves and our little ones, know when to push into the next season, and when to slow down. We’ll be stronger, healthier, and happier if we treat parenthood more like a marathon than a sprint.

Simply Show Up
I love to drop in on the ocean, no toys, chair, extra lotion or umbrella – just show up and see what she has for us! She never disappoints. Today her mighty waves provided challenge for the surfers. The little sticks found on her shore were transformed into spires for a grand castle. The breeze above her beckoned the seagulls to soar higher. The ocean is a place of never ending possibilities, especially when you visit her with children! Sometimes I clutter up the beautiful simplicity of life with a bunch of extra stuff. I feel like I need to come prepared, have all the right equipment, get back-ups just in case… But to simply show up, unannounced, no gear in tow, and allow nature to unfold her grand plan is to be surprised time and again. Nothing can be more entertaining, instructional, life-giving, and inspiring than the wonders God has created. We don’t need to have all the extra stuff, simply show up!

Lucky Charms
I’m so thankful for little fun things in life like St. Patrick’s Day! It’s the only day in the year to have a “boiled dinner,” shamrock shakes from Mc Donalds, wear tons of green, and delight in green milk (or beer if you’re a grown up!). Enjoy!

Celebrate
There are so many things to celebrate in life. A little boy’s first haircut, a 40th birthday, a promotion, a wedding, a living God… The list goes on and on. Currently my life is filled with all of these celebrations and more in a matter of a month! As we hop from party to party, I’m reminded that even without a grand event, there are little things that happen every day that are worth celebrating. Like a child reaching an age where they can truly help in the kitchen, a friend who dropped in just to say hi, a brilliant blue sky with hills so green you’d swear you woke up in Ireland! Life has it’s share of tough, discouraging times that can swallow us up. To totally disregard our pain and frustration would in a way diminish the things worthy of celebration. In the midst of fatigue, fear, stress… let’s give equal time to the things worthy of celebration. Celebrate that you live in a free country. Celebrate that you have one good friend. Celebrate that a Living God knows your name and forever has you on His mind. So much of life is worth celebrating, open your eyes to see the party going on in yours today!

This Little Light of Mine
I’m going to let it shine! But on what? Light. What a powerful tool when pointed in the right direction. A famous work of art comes to life when placed in the proper lighting. A long, winding road becomes a path to promise when it is revealed by headlights. When my light is pointed on my children, I can light them up and reveal who God made them to be. It’s powerful and beautiful. When my light is growing dim, I point towards God, the source of light, and I am recharged, illuminated, and given new vision. When our light is hidden under a bush, (oh no!), we choose to take God out of the equation, snuff the light, and become ineffective. No matter how small, take your little light and point it in the right direction to powerfully effect those around you. And keep your head up, because someone just might be pointing their little light towards you to bless you today!

I’ve Got Your Back
Some of the most comforting words I’ve ever heard were, “I’ve got your back.” To know that someone is on your side, cheering for you, fighting for you, willing to take the bullet for you – it’s empowering and freeing. I’m a fighter by nature. For some reason, throughout my life, I’ve been put in situations where I’ve needed to fight for what I believe in, for what I want, or for who I am. Whereas that can build strength in a person, it can also create someone who fights when it’s not necessary! I was very blessed to have a boss who once told me, “I’ve got your back,” and that he was on my side. He told me that I didn’t need to draw lines in the sand all the time and come out fighting, but rather trust that he was for me and not against me. Two years in that working relationship allowed me to learn what really is worth fighting for and what isn’t. It was a beautiful and necessary preparation for marriage! In my wedding ceremony, my boss, who is a pastor, married us. He reminded us to have each others’ back – to protect one another and take care of one another, and most importantly, to fight for one another. Whether it be a friend, parent, sibling, or spouse, make sure in your life you have someone who’s got your back. We’re not meant to walk through the battle of life alone.

A Small Window
Many years ago my brother took me to the beach in the rain. We walked on the sand as it rained and it was magical. After that day, I’ve always loved the ocean most when it’s raining. Last Saturday we took the kids to the beach for a breakfast picnic… in the pouring rain! We all piled into the back of our SUV and ate our bagels while watching the waves and listening to the pouring rain. We giggled, ate, and pretty much sat on top of each other! It was lovely. Then, for just a moment, the rain stopped, sun came out, and dolphins began to jump - literally! The magic continued. We got out of the fogged up windows and began to play on the sand, enjoying the brilliant blue sky and the warm sunshine. It was amazing how just a few moments before, and what would be a few hours after, it was pouring! A small window of hope, a moment of calm in the midst of a storm, a time to catch your breath before the struggle returned. A powerful time to be reminded that God is present, watching every detail, giving us respite along the treacherous journey, whispering hope and promise to never give us more than we can handle. He gives us those small windows all the time. His promise to us is that even though the waters rise up around us, we will not be overcome.